Seeing Shane Gray ✓

thirty nine | courage

November 30

*.*.*.*.*.*

As soon as I arrive home, I see Marla's car in the driveway and my three friends standing next to it, clearly waiting for me. I get closer and Rachel is the first one to see me, smiling and nudging a rambling Marla.

"Happy birthday, Tay," Riley says to me, grabbing me in a hug.

Marla joins in, nearly crushing half my ribs as Rachel slides her arms between us and squeezes closer. I snort as she makes a loud announcement of 'group hug' and my friends sway on the spot.

"Thanks, losers," I answer, smiling despite myself.

"No problem, bitch," Marla counters, flashing a bright smile my way. "Check out what I got."

Before I can say anything, she's pulled open the door of her Chevy and pulled out a large garbage bag.

"You're gifting me garbage," I point out.

She narrows her eyes to scowl at me. "I needed something big enough to carry their shit too." She points a thumb at Riley and Rachel.

"And you thought a garbage bag was the best thing," I note.

"You guys are so freaking ungrateful," Marla says as Riley snickers. "Here --" she throws the bag at Riely who gasps and drops it, "-- carry your stuff yourself."

"Are you three moving into my house?" I ask, making my way over to the front door.

The girls shoot back some comebacks that I don't pay much attention to, my mind still partially preoccupied with dad whom I had left at the cemetery. A part of me regrets not talking to him. Yet another part of me knows he needs to face the loss before he can move on. He can't even begin to move on if he keeps denying he even lost anything.

When I enter the house, I half-expect to find Mom waiting for me. It's nearly noon and I've been out since seven a.m. Mom had been in her room when I left, and now, her door is still closed. Although I want to go check up on her, I also kind of wish she'd do the same for me. As childish as it sounds, she's supposed to be the adult here.

My friends don't give me much time to dwell on my thoughts, following me into my house and heading straight for the stairs leading up to my room. It's like they've already planned out how to spend the rest of the day with me and they don't require my approval to put the plan into motion. Seeing the array of belongings they're carrying, I'm sure this is more than a couple of hours visit and will rather end up becoming an over-the-weekend sleepover.

Sure enough, Marla, Riley, and Racheal soon change into their pajamas and Riley pulls out a giant box of nail colors. I stare at the multitude of colors as she begins to pick out her favorites, afraid of whatever she might have in store for me. Racheal has already busied herself with my laptop and is downloading a ton of stupid movies we can make fun of. I even catch sight of some Korean series I think she's expecting us to watch but I know we'll eventually end up skipping that one after making much fun if it. As for Marla, she's busy pulling out boxes of instant noodles and microwave popcorn and telling me she'll be right back before she leaves my room and heads down to my kitchen like she owns the place.

By nightfall, we've eaten almost ninety percent of the food Marla brought, watched three movies that were equally pathetic, and tried on ten different shades of nail color, one on each of my nails. As Riley bosses me into letting her do nail art on my cropped nails which she frankly insults, I whine for them to leave me alone and let me have some peace. Honestly, though, all four of us know I'd rather be with them than alone today.

"Your mom and dad still live with you, don't they?" Racheal asks me after we've exhausted all our snacks and decided to order pizza.

"Yeah, we haven't heard them since we got here," Marla says, counting the change for the delivery guy who will probably be arriving on our doorstep any minute now.