Seeing Shane Gray ✓

nineteen | nice

*.*.*.*.*.*

October 18

"Taylor? Can I ask you something?"

Shane surprises me by his question and I look at him, nodding self-consciously. He keeps his gaze fixed out of the windshield as if he's trying to give me space.

"Remember how you asked me if I'd tell you if I want to hurt myself?" he says. "Would you do the same? I mean ..." He glances my way. "Would you tell me?"

If I was uneasy before, I'm plain baffled now. I don't know what gave him the idea that I might want to hurt myself, but honestly, I would never do that. I don't want to cause anyone the pain I know so well about.

"I don't intend to hurt myself," I admit truthfully. "I wouldn't do that to anyone."

Shane's eyes revolve to meet mine and I look away, refusing to meet his gaze.

"And you'd also tell me if you're ever hurting?" he adds.

I don't know what to say so I simply nod, hoping he'll let it go. Thankfully he does, stopping the car in front of my house after a long, silent ride. The minutes tick by slowly and I've never experienced such a distanced silence from Shane. Even when we spoke for the first time, he was easy to talk to. Now, though, I feel something standing between us.

Maybe it's just my own fears.

"I'll be here at eight tomorrow to pick you up," he says as I unbuckle my belt.

"You don't need to," I say. "I can get someone to drive me --" I change my mind, realizing my parents probably won't be available "-- or just walk."

Shane smiles. "It's fasting blood sugars. I don't want a repetition of today's incident so no thank you."

I scowl at him. "I'm not some damsel in distress, Shane Gray."

"Oh, I know."

I narrow my eyes some more, pretty sure he's mocking me now. "Fine. You know you're really bossy."

"I'm a lot of things, wait till you get to know me," he teases, his eyes glimmering with amusement.

Is it strange for me to feel curious?

"You want to come in?" I ask before I can stop myself. "I mean, for some tea or something?" I mentally smack myself for how lame that sounds.

"I would love to, but I have to get back." He grimaces. "Game night."

"Oh, right, Friday." I nod quickly, throwing open the door and jumping out. His explanation is perfectly legitimate and yet I feel disappointed, which makes me hate how desperate I'm growing. "Thanks for today."

He rolls his eyes, smiling and waving as I slam the door shut behind me. I don't wait for him to speak but he winds down the window and calls after me.

"Take care of yourself, she who finds gray worth it!"

I snort, turning around to look at a beaming Shane. "You are too weird!"

"You're too cute, you don't see me complaining."

Before I can appropriately -- or inappropriately -- respond to his highly surprising and very light comment, Shane rolls the window shut and spins his giant car around, driving down my street at the speed of light. I barely get a moment to digest his words, a smile sliding onto my face by a will of its own.

Shane Gray thinks I'm cute.

The thought stays with me for the rest of the day and the entire night. Even when I wake up the next morning and throw open my wardrobe, searching for something nice, his voice echoes in my head and smile flickers before my eyes. I keep telling myself the grumbling of my stomach is because of hunger and not because I'm half-excited half-nervous to see Shane today. Honestly, it doesn't even make sense. I've met Shane more times than I can count now and there has never been any nervousness involved.