I Love You Too Much To Let You Go

Chapter 2 Alex Pov

Why the fuck did I do that?! Why did I call Jack, Why did I text him over and over?! He hates me he's only doing
This because he feels bad you're a waste of space Alex no one cares no one has or ever will,

I hear a knock at the door "what the fuck Lex! Who did this to you?!" Lex he called me Lex I've missed that so much "d-dad" I said crying he hugs me and says he's not gonna let anything hurt me, we stayed hugging for a while, he takes my hand and walks up stairs I hope he's not gonna do what I think he is,

I'm not in the mood I just want to cry my fucking my dad beat me, he locks the door and I let out a sigh of relief, I'm feeling safe now that Jacks here, I still haven't gotten over when he called me his Lexy,

we start to cuddle in bed and I snuggle my head into his neck I missed this so much,

"Jack-" "hey" "what?" "What happened to the Jacky" he said with a childish grin on his face "Jacky, did you miss me when you were in Chicago?" I said staring at him "yeah, of course I did, and after I said never talk to me again I started crying because I missed the sound of you're voice already" he said with a shaky voice about to cry,

he looked at me and kissed me, you honestly don't know how much I missed this, he started tearing up while kissing me "Jacky? Are you ok?" I said cupping his face "I-I've missed you Lexy, too much, I can't believe I left, I can't believe I went 4 years without seeing my Little Lexy" he said holding my hips "I've missed you too Jacky, I thought you hated me after saying that, I'm sorry I chose my dad over you"

I was about to kiss him again but he stood up "Lexy I'm really sorry, but I can't do this, not anymore I'm so sorry, I've tried but I can't I'm sorry Lexy" he said hugging me and running out the house ive fucked it up,

I fucking fucked it up, I ruined it, I love him so much, but he hates me, he will never be my Jacky never again, I want my motherfucking Jacky back, but I can't because I'm a fuck up that chooses fathers over lovers, I hate myself I go into my bathroom and start the shower I just sit there letting the almost burning liquid run down my skin as I cry,

I spend half an hour in the shower I get out get changed into trackies and a shirt, I lock my door once again,

I get into bed and start crying "I miss him so much" I say over and over again, an hour passed and I hear a knock at my door "Alex? Sweetie are you ok? I can hear crying?" "I-I'm fine m-mum" I say she can usually tell when I'm lying "ok sweetie" you're joking right,

my own mother couldn't hear the stutters, couldn't hear the cries for help in my voice, Jack didn't believe my mother didn't care well look at this, she's a self hearted bitch, always have and always will, because I was a mistake, my father yells it at my face every dinner, and my mother just looks at me,

I'm a joke, I may as well just kill myself right now, yeah I'm gonna do it nothing is stopping me, I grab a blade and was gonna cut all the way down my forearm, here we go I say about to put the blade on my skin, but suddenly my phone rings I look it's Jack

"hello" I say bluntly "Lexy, you're coming over right now" he said "why?" "Because Lexy, I ran out on you and you need someone so come on, you're coming over end of"

Jack hung up, I did want to see him again because well he's my Jacky and I'm his Lexy nothing has or ever will change that, but I don't want to make confrontation with my family, I come to a conclusion that i can sneak out the window,

I grab a hoodie, black jeans, a plain black shirt, my shoes, a beanie, my phone and keys I jump out the window and run to Jacks, I see his family aren't home I knock on the door Jack runs down and hugs me,

"I'm sorry" he said "that was a risky move" I said hugging him back "why?" "I could've been some random stranger and you would've hugged them thinking it was me" I laughed so did he, he takes my hand and walks me up stairs, "i missed you Lex" he said kissing me "what? You just said be-"

I got cut off by him kissing me again, more passionately "shut the fuck up" he said in a seductive tone and pushed me onto the bed and kisses me again, he kisses my neck, lightly sucking and biting, he kisses up my jawline and looks into my eyes

"that marks gonna be there for about a week or two" he said with a devilish smile I missed his devilish grins "wait what?!" I said I run to the mirror he fucking gave me a hickey "you bitch" I said throwing a pillow at him "my parents will kill me!" "Lex, you're a grown man, 22 years old, I hope you're feeling 22"

he said with a wink "don't you dare go all Taylor swift on me" "BUT YOURE FEELING 22!!!" He yells grinning at me "shut up you loser" I said pushing him on the bed and straddling him, I return the favour now he has a hickey too, "i hope you're happy Jacky" I said grinning