I Love You Too Much To Let You Go

Chapter 8 Alex Pov

I made his worst nightmares come true? Jack thinks of himself that way? He's amazing! And I love him,

"you have to tell him" Rian said walking into the kitchen "what?" "Tell him nothing happened, you can't lie to him and say things did! He's my best friend and was about to be you're boyfriend, Jacks an amazing guy, tell him" "what if something did happen" "can you actually fuck off? I've never liked you even as a friend never have and never will, so get out of my house and stay away from my best friend!"

I get all my clothes and go home, I'm the failure, I should call him, I call he doesn't answer, I text he doesn't answer

To: Jacky💕
Jack please answer I need to tell you something important!

I sent that an hour ago and he hasn't even read it? Jacks always on his phone it hasn't even sent? His phone is off for some reason,

ok I'm starting to get worried, I call May "hello?" "May it's Alex, where's Jack? He's not answering his phone" "he's here with me, I wouldn't blame him though" she hung up on me, I could tell she was lying

"FUCKING HELL!" I scream, I place my head in my hands, "I've fucked up, I've fucked up big time now" I grab my phone and call Rian "Rian! Where's Jack?" "I don't know he never went back to his house i know that" "what?!"

I instantly call Zack "Zack! Is Jack with you?" "Well hello to you too" "answer my fucking question Zack!" "Yeah he is, almost in tears actually after you fucked up" "I realised that!" "You don't know do you?" "Know what?" "You're so fucking thick Alex! He's depressed! And he hates everything about himself! Thanks you, you've just ruined his life even more!" He hangs up on me,

"fucking hell Zack!" I yell "is everything ok?" My mum walks in "get out now!" "Don't talk to you're mother like that!" I run out the door and into my car, I drive to Zacks house and storm right in without even knocking there they were cuddled up on the couch I run in and grab Zack by the shirt

"what the fuck? Why are you here?" I throw him onto the ground "you fucking cunt!" I scream and start punching him "you know I love him" I say still punching "Alex!" Jack pulls me off and kneels down to Zack who's almost been knocked out,

"what the fuck?!" "I love you" is all I say trying to catch my breath "get out" he whispers "what?" "Get the fuck out Alex! You could've killed him!" He screams "why do you care about him? He ruined you're life in high school" "yeah, but you ruined my life in high school and as adults" he said helping Zack up "im sorry" "you're so oblivious to everything aren't you?" "What?" "Calling me pathetic?, a fucked up failure?, All those things! You're thick Alex! I'm depressed ok! You don't know anything about me! You don't say that to people with depression! Actually you don't say that to anyone no matter what! Now fuck off!"

I walk out the door with out any more confrontation, ive fucked up, fucked up bad, the only man I may ever love, I go home and try and forget about everything, I'm on the edge of tears

"You good?" Tom says watching the TV "fuck off tom" "hey don't need to take it out me because you're on you're period" I run upstairs and get into the shower I just sit in the corner crying and crying, "i love you Jacky, please I'm sorry, I love you" I mumble to myself over and over "I love you Jacky, please come back" I'm balling and it's already been an hour still sitting there

"Alex?! Sweetheart are you ok?!" My family are finally worried about me for once, I get out of the shower and grab a towel "I'm fine" 'you know just crying over a guy that means everything to me and I fucked it all up don't worry' I get changed and I just sit there on my bed with my grey sweats on

"why am I a fuck up? Why am I a failure? Why do I destroy everything I love? Why can't I just die already?" I ask those questions a billion times over, and didn't understand why I could answer them I fall asleep, I wake up to Tom hitting me so the usual,

"what?" "We're going to the mall want anything?" "No now fuck off" "are you seriously on you're period?" I get up and changed I go for a little walk and see Jack and Zack sitting at a café with coffee, They look at me, Zack had a black eye and bruises everywhere, I just put my head down and walked inside to get coffee,

I walk out there still there staring "hey mate! Long time! No see!" It's Dillon my best mate "Dillon!" I hug him "how's it been bud?" He says with a cheerful smile on, "nothing really what about you, why are you so happy?" "I'm gonna propose to my girlfriend tonight!" "That's fantastic mate" we walk back into the cafe but he stops "Zack? Jack?" "Woah Jack you've changed" "so have you Dillon" they shook hands "Zack, what happened?" "Ask the prick over there" he looks back at me he changes the subject "Alex! It's Jack!" "Tattoos, piercings, nice hair! You're a package!" He said once again with a cheerful grin "haha" "so you two t-" "No" Jack said cutting Dillon off "oh ok then, we'll see you guys around"

he puts his arm over my shoulders, we walk inside grab him a coffee and walk out in the same position, I was taller then him so he looked uncomfortable, "you don't have to you know that?" "Oh thank god, my arm started hurting" he said keeping his grin.