𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬// timothée chalamet

four

"You guys have your passes, right?" Alyx questioned, hands shaking and eyes wide.

"Yes, Alyx. Now stop worrying your pretty little head. Everything is going to be fine!" While Alyx was getting pulled away and rushed by the stage manager to wait for her cue; Blair, Vienna and I were reaping the benefits of the complimentary drinks in Aly's dressing room. I was about four tequila shots and one gin and tonic in and feeling just the smallest bit tipsy, but Blair on the other hand was utterly shitfaced. She's a bit of a lightweight.

"Good luck Aly! We love you! Break an ankle!" Blair giggled, bringing the vodka cranberry to her lips.

"B, that's not even how it goes." I laughed. Before she could take another sip, Vienna (the only responsibly sober one) slowly grabbed the glass out of Blair's manicured hands.

"Do you even want to remember tonight, B? You really need to slow down before you ruin the rest of the night for yourself." Vienna has always been the mom friend, obviously. Blair frowned but ultimately agreed with her.

"Alright, we should probably head to the pit before the doors open." I said, gathering my phone and vlog camera. The three of us made our way to the VIP section of the floor, right against the barricade. Alyx's debut album, Selfish, just released this week, and her label is hosting an album release concert, which is sold out.

I turned on my vlog camera, and panned it across the venue as people started filing in.

I turned the camera on to myself, "Guys, this is literally so insane! Soon this entire venue is going to be filled." I filmed a few more shots of Blair, Vienna and I dancing to the songs the venue was playing, and then decided to turn my camera off until Alyx's performance started to save the battery. After twenty more minutes of us drinking and dancing, the lights finally dimmed, and Alyx's opening track rang through the bowery ballroom.

✰ ✰ ✰

If I wasn't drunk before, I definitely was now.

As Alyx performed more songs off her album, more and more drinks were being brought from the bar by Blair. The entire room was bouncing with energy, and its hard to not let the energy consume you. I was feeling great, dancing with two of my best friends while the other one was performing on stage. The lights in the venue began to dim to blue, and Aly stepped up to the mic.

"Ok guys, the next song I'll be playing is the title track, Selfish. I wrote this song after getting out of a toxic relationship last year, and I hope that it has helped some of you recognize your worth as much as it helped me. Everyone is worthy of love, and you should never settle for someone who doesn't treat you the way you deserve." While saying this, Alyx had her eyes on me. I felt my eyes well up for a moment, but quickly blinked them away. If it was one thing I hid well, it was my emotions.

Two months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and three months, Elliot. He's another popular content creator on Youtube, and we met through some mutual friends. Everything was amazing for the first year, and we were everyone's favorite Youtube couple. He soon decided to relocate to Los Angeles for more business opportunities, while I stayed in New York. We tried to make long distance work for a few months, until I caught whiff of some rumors that he was hooking up with girls in LA. Obviously, I broke things off with him. It hurt-- like hell, but I knew better than to let a man make me look stupid.

"I'm gonna need another shot for this one." I said to Vienna. She laughed, putting an arm around me. The opening violin chords rang through the venue, and Alyx started singing.

"Yeah, you should find a guy to hook up with, Stel!" Blair laughed. I hate to admit it, but I kinda agreed with her. Vision blurry in the dark room, I began scanning the crowd. I locked eyes with a guy with dark, curly hair, but I couldn't make out the details of his face in the dim lighting.

"Boy, you're such a lost cause
Now your name is crossed off
How you gonna fix this?
You can't even fix yourself"

As if he could see my face, the man began to walk towards me.

"Shouldn't love you, but I couldn't help it
Had a feeling that you never felt it
I always knew that you were too damn selfish
Don't know why I looked the other way"

I swayed on my feet, whether it was from the alcohol or my attempt at dancing, I couldn't be sure. As the boy reached me, he held out his arms to steady me.

"Stella, right?" as he got closer, I began to make out his dark hair, sharp features, and pouty lips.

"Has a-anyone ever told you... you kinda look like..." I began, then lost my train of thought. Who did he look like?

Hell if I knew, I was basically seeing double at this point.

"I wanted you to change, yeah
I shouldn't love you, but I couldn't help it
I always knew that you were too damn selfish"

He opened his mouth,

"I just wanted to say I-" before he could finish his sentence, my beer balls took over. 

"Can I kiss you?!" I blurted out. His dark eyes widened, I couldn't really tell what color they were but also, I didn't really care. 

"I-uh, sure? I mean-"

I grabbed his face between my hands, reached up to match his height on my toes, and crashed my lips against his.

I am definitely going to regret this tomorrow.