To Feel Alive (NANOWRIMO)

Chapter Seven

“Oh, erm, okay, that’s fine,” Maisie said, eyes already welling up as her shoulders sagged forward. “I was invited to a party anyway and my director-daddy said I could come visit his latest set and I have a ton of homework so I’m really busy actually!” she said, looking up and widening her eyes in such an attempt to prevent herself from crying that it looked like she was about to kill me.

“I am sorry. I just don’t get this chance a lot…” And then I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket, taking it out to see Cody calling, who was obviously getting impatient waiting for me.

“That him?” she asked, gesturing towards the phone, and I nodded, trying to conceal a cheesy grin.

“I should go. I’ll see you on Monday, okay?” And without waiting for a legitimate reply, I barricaded through the front doors, searching the car park for Cody’s face as I picked up the phone.

“Hurry up slow coach,” came his silky voice through the speaker of my phone.

“Where are you?” I said, squinting as I looked carefully round at every car.

“I’m looking right at you.” And then I glanced down at the bottom of the entrance stairs where Cody stood casually, leaning against the banister. I sped down and into his arms as he made fun of me and my inability to see what was staring me right in the face. With our arms around each other, we went back to his car where he starting driving without telling me where exactly where we were going.

“Come on, just a teeny clue?” I begged, looking over at him as he remained concentrated on the road. He’d never been the best driver. He’d learnt at a difficult time for us all.

“We’ve been there a lot,” he said, choosing his words carefully.

“Oh, very helpful,” I said, slapping him on the arm.

“No, like…a lot. And it’s not the hospital,” he said boldly. The comment left me silenced before I figured it out.

“Are we going bowling?” A smile prickled at the corners of his lips. “We are, aren’t we?” I said, getting a little excited, but nervous at the same time. If we’d have been a couple, bowling would have been our place in the same way that We Are Golden by Mika was our song. Cheesy, we knew, but Lily had ultimately decided upon it, and anything that she suggested became final.

I pictured then this exact scenario almost two years ago. Cody had just got his permit, Lily had been given the all clear for a weekend off and we’d decided that we could all go to the ice cold beach together. We’d turned the radio on and this insanely optimistic song had blasted its way obnoxiously so into our lives, in such contrast to our situation at the time.

I’d been all prepared to switch it off, knowing just how cheerful this song was, and worried it would upset Lily when, all of a sudden, she began to burst out the chorus at the top of her pathetic lungs. “WE ARE NOT WHAT YOU THINK WE ARE, WE ARE GOLDEN! WE ARE GOLDEN!”

Me and Cody had looked to each other in shock as Lily had clambered through the two front seats onto my lap, winding down the passenger window and continuing to scream along the lyrics, beaming from ear to ear as she leant herself out on the car’s edge, the wind rushing into the car with such force it knocked me back in my seat. And me and Cody had just looked at each other, and laughed, and joined in with equal gusto.

The next time we’d heard that song, me and Cody had been in the car alone. We’d been about to go bowling after a particularly testing day with Lily, and we’d laughed simultaneously as we remembered how happy the song had made us just a fortnight earlier. And then we’d started to cry. Cody had pulled over, and I’d buried my head in his lap, and we’d sobbed along to a tune that had previously made us feel like we could accomplish absolutely anything. It had now reduced us to nothing.