Unsent Love Letters | Son Chaeyoung

ᴅᴀʏ 4

[ Jeno, hi. It's me again, Kallea. It's funny how I always introduce myself to you in my letters and I wonder if this is still normal... you know, girls writing letters for someone they like for a very long time. I like you Jeno, I lose track in counting the times I confessed with you in a letter but no matter how many that were, nothing has changed, I still like you. ]

As soon as Kallea closed her eyes after having a debate with her mom last night, she fell asleep.

She did her best to convince her to buy her makeups and she was asked what type of, but she's clueless what types are there in a makeup. All she knew are lipstick, press powder and eye shadow.

Her mom even suggested for her to try concealer but she answered her, "What the heck is concealer?" In the end, her mom decided to buy her BB cream instead.

I'm not really considered a girl, am I? She thinks.

She fell asleep late, but she woke up early, super early and she doesn't know why. All she did is to grab her pen and paper and began writing her letter of the day.

The sun hasn't risen yet and it's still quite dark outside. She peeks at her curtains and gaze at the balcony on the other side of her room. There is a door to get in there and she wanted so badly to go and hang out in that balcony ever since she's little but her mom marked it prohibited. She said she'll get exposed with germs so much if she tried to go there. She said that 12 years ago.

But Kallea is Kallea, she's always curious about things, genuinely hardheaded and strong-willed person.

Her mind tells her to try, her mother won't find out since she's still asleep, she'll only try, only this once, there's nothing to lose, it's now or never. But her subconscious tells her to go back in sleep because once she stepped out of that forbidden door, she already risked her life to death.

For the first time ever, Kallea noticed her subconscious making a sense out of the situation but just like what she always does, she chose to pick the opposite of what's rational.

She brushed her second thought off her mind and heedlessly moves towards her drawer to get her latex gloves and face mask.

With her heart beating wild, she buried her fingers inside the gloves. She felt her body getting livelier with every progress she's making. She then wears her face mask after, feeling extremely elated about doing this. She felt like she's slowly breaking free somehow.

Taking a deep breath, she takes with her the letter she wrote for Jeno unknowingly. She just felt like she needed comfort or something to support her decision to go outside in the balcony. It's like having your best friend on your back, fully supporting you with every stupid thing you'll do.

When she twisted the door knob and heard the creaking door open, a victory smile spreads across her face. She's succeeding, she just hope her mom won't find out about this because once she did, Kallea will no longer have a glimpse of tomorrow.

A cool whip of the wind caressed her face as she stepped out of the door and when she looks back inside, she feels like she totally dropped all of her reservations on the floor, abandoning them. She can feel her guilt creeping in, but she can't just let it hold her back. She has begun, so she'll stand her ground.

Winning between the battle of conscience and persistency, Kallea silently closed the door behind her.

The pale blue color of the sky is now visible when she brings her gaze up. With group of clouds forming together and a ray of sun glimpsing, Kallea thinks she has a new favorite part of the day already.