Unsent Love Letters | Son Chaeyoung

ᴅᴀʏ 10

[ Jeno, I don't remember the last time I had been so hopeful about something. I tend to turn away with the things I badly want to do, simply because I know it would cause me no good. It includes you. You are forbidden but I still want to be with you. Since the day you sat beside me and told me I'm smart, since the day you picked a piece of white angel and hand it to me, I want to be with you. Through the days I was meditating, I hope to be with you. Whenever I'm taking those bitter tablets of medicines, whenever I'm facing my fright with injections, whenever I lay down in hospital bed, I think of you. Even with the days you're with Natalie, I still want you.

All throughout the years that I was watching you by my windows, dreaming you'll see me someday, the several times our eyes met, until the day my letter made its way to you... I'm pathetically wishing that I was born normal.

I was afraid when you walked in my life again. I knew there will be repercussions along with you but with all the hope I have in me, I choose to believe that those repercussions aren't meant to hinder what we've started, that someday there would still be a chance springing on our way that can make you and I possible.

Last night made me realize how much I need you, how much you brought changes in my life for the second time our fates crossed. And I thought that maybe this might be it, maybe it would be different this time. I know it's so selfish of me to say this but I want to keep you and never let you slip away because right from this moment, all that matters to me was you. No one else but you Jeno. ]

Beaming in satisfaction, Kallea writes the numbers 2318 at the back of the envelope. She was the happiest person who happens to woke up early in the morning.

Jeno was the last person she thought of before drifting to cloud land last night and by the moment she opened her eyes this morning, it was still Jeno who registers first in her mind.

He was always her first and last.

She spent a few minutes sprawling on her bed while recalling the words Jeno told her yesterday. She considered those words as promise and she will hold onto them come what may. She knew that hoping could hurt her but she was positive Jeno would never be the reason for her pain.

Stupid, but she won't hold him accountable for her feelings when she got hurt in the end or when the time comes for her emotions to make her the most vulnerable. It was her choice to love him.

Kallea knew Jeno would be the last person to hurt her feelings. He won't hurt her because he can't. If there will be a person who would be hurt in the end, it was Jeno.

She suddenly closed her eyes to shake that negative thought away. You won't die, well at least not so fast, not for now when everything was only beginning with the two of you.

She convinced herself to believe then spoke to the air with her fighting spirit oozing. "Shoo! You have no place here pessimism so better go away." Part of her was thankful that her subconscious wasn't fully awake yet to meddle in her thoughts again because if it were, then her mood was probably ruined by now.

It makes her smile without knowing. It never felt so good how she gets to trust her own decision and let life do its work. For once in her life, she felt so useful.

There's also this one thing that keeps Kallea's hopes souring high above, it was the text message Jeno sent her last night. Just like a pixie dust bestrewed on her stomach, the butterflies inside it came alive and enchantedly fluttered in avidness she never really acknowledged before.