The Broken Light and the Broken Boy

Selfish

WILL'S P.O.V 

I woke up and took a few seconds to realise why I was lying on the floor of the infirmary bathroom. It took even longer for me to realise why I was being cradled by a sleeping son of Hades. I tilt my head up and gaze at the peaceful sleeping face laying on the floor above mine. His hair flops over his closed eyes and his olive tinted skin, even though he was paler after the strain of everything, seemed darker against the white walls. His eyes have dark bags from the strain past few weeks and immediately I feel guilty. Asleep his face doesn't rest in its usual scowl and he looks so calm, almost happy. I look down at my body and barely register the blood on my shirt before wondering when was the last time I took a shower. It might've been 2 maybe 3 days ago. Wait, what?! Ok, now I realise how much of a mess I am. I take one more look at those bags under his eyes and the guilt returns. A voice in the back of my head starts whispering the usual thoughts. It's your fault he's in this state... he must hate you... you're such an attention seeker. I try to block out the thoughts and focus on the current situation. I slowly untangle myself from his grasp and quietly make my way out into the kitchen on shaky legs. I don't think my body has fully recovered yet. Stop complaining everyone has it worse than you... The sun hasn't come up and it should be only a few hours till breakfast and the rest of my siblings come to take their shifts. I sigh. Time to face the day.

I quickly open the door to check if all the patients are asleep and alive. Luckily no one was in any immediate danger and I silently curse myself for sleeping on my watch. Your selfish actions could have killed someone... I shudder and try to ignore the thought. Any one of them could've been another name on the long list of people you've let down... I stiffen at the voice before realising I had a job to get on with. I open the bathroom door once again and stare at the smaller boy lying on the floor. I smile softly and kneel wrapping one of my arms around his waist and the other under his legs. With some effort, I manage to lift him. Luckily he was light or I might've dropped him on the way. He needs to be eating more I think to myself as I lean on the bed to place him under the sheets of his bed. 

"There we go Deathboy," I whisper and stand back up and immediately regret it as my head spins and my legs sway. I cough into my hands and internally groan as blood coats my hands. I stumble my way to the kitchen sink and take deep breaths as I wash the blood off my hands, for something that shouldn't be peaceful at all it was quite calming. Geez, I'm a freak. I make my way back to Nico's bed and I try to gracefully sit down in the visitor's chair next to his bed but ended up looking as graceful as the minotaur doing ballet. I take deep breaths to clear my head and get up to get changed and take a closer look at the other patients. 

They all seem to be doing fine and I only had to use small amounts of my healing to keep them steady until medication time. Unfortunately, every time I used my healing ability I find myself almost unable to stand and cursing at myself for not being stronger as I cough up blood here and there. Of course, your not strong enough or you'd be able to heal everyone... The voice taunts me but I send it to the back of my mind to deal with later and try to make it back to Nico without collapsing. After successfully making it back I sit there staring at the boy. He's been through so much, wars, grief, torture, Tartarus... Even though he has so many people who care about him he carries this air to him, it's almost as if he thinks he's alone. I try to work out why he feels shunned and unloved. No one should ever feel like that, especially not someone who almost died several times saving everyone. Why does he feel alone? I sit there wishing I could make him see how worthy he is and how many people love him. Like you wish someone did for you?... I try to think of ways I can help but soon enough my body fails me and I find myself embraced in the darkness of sleep. 

I find myself awoken by the sound of someone walking through the infirmary doors. I bolt upright, regret it, and plaster on a smile ready to greet the visitor hoping they didn't realise I was asleep. To my surprise, I find one of my younger sisters walking towards me carrying a muffin. As she meets my eyes she beams a gap-toothed grin and runs towards me.