Plant New Seeds | H.S.| AU

Chapter Six - Book Club

H A R R Y

"We can't do this."

Her voice was coated in trepidation. Her eyes were as tired as ever. Her lips quivered with each word as though she were trying her hardest to mean it. Her hands shook frivolously as she pushed me off her body the gentlest she could.

I wasn't focused on my arousal or my desperation to finish what I've been imagining for days now. I wasn't focused on the what-ifs or the whys. I wanted to know how she felt here and now, in the moment.

One week without seeing Nia felt more like one year. I was afraid of how quickly I had become attached to her. We had only been in the same room twice, or three times including now. Our conversations were respectfully guarded on both sides, only giving just enough to feel comfortable around one another.

But things had changed tonight.

We were both open and blunt, thanks to the liquid courage. We talked about the dynamic of our relationship, even if we didn't talk in direct terms. I knew she still needed time to open up. I had nothing but patience and understanding. I considered my past and my present—baring my wares wasn't exactly my strong suit. I needed my time as well; rushing her would be hypocritical.

Without completely knowing her, I felt an overwhelming sense of protection over her. Over her mind, her body, and her broken spirit she so desperately tried to keep under wraps.

I was beyond whipped.

My brain couldn't equate it; there was absolutely no rhyme or reason for it. At least not an obvious one.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Nia's frail voice was enough to get me out of my head and back into the moment. We were sitting up, this time on opposite ends of the couch to maintain our distance.

The sound of her voice broke the silence we sat in for immeasurable moments, the only sound coming from the blaring of sirens and car horns outside the window.

I turned my head around to face her, seeing the blank stare in her eyes as she focused them on the virtually empty wine bottle in front of us.

Her leg started to bounce up and down frivolously; I had spent enough time with her to know that was one of the ways her body reacted to heightened anxiety.

"I'm sorry." Nia nodded her head repeatedly, the emptiness in her eyes growing into a realization.

Her whispers began to sound mangled as the tears struggled their way up her throat. Moments later, her head flopped down into her knees as though her shoulders were to heavy to support it anymore.

Maybe it was. Her unspoken burdens were anchoring her down much more than she could handle anymore.

I bolted over to her side, immediately enveloping her into my chest as I rocked us both back and forth slowly.

Neither of us spoke. We preferred it that way.

My heart twinged at the sound of her soft cries turning into loud sobs. I squeezed her as tight as humanly possible. I wanted nothing more than for to realize that whatever was happening wasn't her fault.

It felt like it was mine.

I took things entirely too far with that fucking trivia game. Sure—she was the one that initiated the final kiss on the lips but I didn't do much at all to stop it from happening. I let my dick control my thinking as per usual. Not caring about the consequences, as per usual.

And now here we were—Sunflower's mind tormenting her for the bullshit that I started.

"Sunflower, please," I pleaded into her soft curls that grazed against the bottom of my chin. I inhaled deeply, the sweet scent of the coconut in her hair calming my own nerves. "Don't cry, darling."