Ace of Hearts - Haikyuu || Short Stories || One Shots || Creative Rambles

Some Kind of Disaster || Semi Eita

Kuse Chiasa had never felt like a brave woman. There were so many things she was afraid of: flying bugs, boys with piercings, the sound of the toaster popping. By no irregular stretch of the word could Chiasa ever be considered brave, but when she looked at Semi Eita, she found herself wanting to be more than she ever thought she could be.

It had taken her weeks to formulate the right words and get in enough practice to feel like she was ready — and even then she didn't actually feel ready, she just thought that Semi was worth the risk.

And her determination to confess to him reminded her of a quote she once heard: Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

She couldn't recall who had said it — probably some athlete or something — she'd only heard it in a teenage romance movie one time, but it gave her the motivation to walk up to him on that first day of the week, just three months into their final year at Shiratorizawa.

Her rehearsed words kept ringing in her head as she ambled up to him before classes started. He was standing next to the classroom door, leaning up against the wall as he talked casually to some other members of the volleyball team that Chiasa had no interest in — she'd always been too lost in memorizing the details of Semi's face to ever care about them.

As she drew nearer she willed herself to execute the confession with perfection, but a woman in love is seldom the essence of such a thing. She was flustered beyond belief as she pulled him aside and felt his full attention on her.

"Uhm, Semi-kun," Chiasa mumbled, unable to meet his eyes. "I've really enjoyed studying with you over the last two years and I was wondering if we could spend more time together in the future."

When she looked up, Semi didn't look surprised or the least bit put off. In fact, if she didn't know better, she would think he hadn't yet processed her request, but it wasn't that. He wasn't still thinking her words over, he had interpreted them wrong.

"I don't see why we would stop studying together just because it's a new year," he said plainly, clearly confused by the situation. A rose tint surfaced on the apples of Chiasa's cheeks and she instantly dropped her gaze to the ground again.

"Ah Semi," she practically groaned. "I didn't take you to be the oblivious type."

"What is that supposed to mean," he asked with an almost-insulted tone.

"It means I just confessed my feelings for you and it flew right over your head," she responded.

Her statement was met with silence as Semi stared at her with wide eyes. He wanted to comment that she should have just been clear from the get go, but the surprise of someone actually liking him was overwhelming his need to be sarcastic.

"What," he questioned, his heart moving his mouth before his brain could stop the process. "How?"

There were a lot of things Semi Eita hadn't planned for in his three years at Shiratorizawa.

He hadn't planned for his classes to be so difficult. He hadn't planned to be unable to dress himself properly because of the pressure of constant teasing from his teammate. He hadn't planned to be replaced as the starting setter in his second year by some new, cold-hearted first year — effectively showing him that even in the one thing he had ever been good at, and actively sought after, he could easily be replaced.

In his time at Shiratorizawa he came to accept that he'd never be a star, he'd always come in second place. He was just some kind of disaster — a shadow of the person he wanted to be and a bundle of disappointments from things that didn't go as planned.

And as the words left his mouth, he thought this moment was probably just another.

"What do you mean 'how,' Semi? Am I supposed to just know how it is that people come to fall in love," Chiasa shot back exasperatedly before grumbling. "God. 'What,' he says!"

A mixture of residual shock and festering embarrassment danced across Semi's face as he realized his inner thoughts wiggled their way out of his head and his eyes instantly darted to the floor as he felt a heat rise across his neck.

"I'm sorry, Kuse-san. I didn't mean to say - uhm - I just mean that..." Semi pushed his right hand through his hair as he searched for the right words. "I just don't like myself very much right now, so I don't really know how you can like me."

"Well, I mean, have you seen yourself," she practically blurted out, unable to stop herself. She realized her slip up immediately and closed her eyes in embarrassment while biting her lower lip. Chiasa took a moment to compose herself before daring to open one eye, the other still squinted shut, and to look up at the red-faced third year. "I guess you're not the only one who has a hard time keeping their thoughts in their head."

The pair chuckled awkwardly as Chiasa nervously played with the ends of the hair resting on her shoulder.

"Look Kuse-san, I'm really honored you like me," Semi spoke through the uneasy air between them. "Honestly, you have no idea how much it means to me."

"But?" she asked, trying her best to hold his gaze.

"But I think I have to learn to appreciate me for who I am before I can try to love someone else," he said softly, finishing his thought.

Chiasa wasn't sure what to feel as the words left the lips she had dreamed of kissing for the past two years, but she pushed herself to find something positive to cling to — it was just in her nature. Maybe he was rejecting her kindly, but that wasn't even her concern now. How was it possible that this beautiful man in front of her couldn't see his worth?

"That's not a no, Semi-kun," she said, throwing him a shy smile as she shifted the strap of her bag on her shoulder. A wide grin spread across her face as she shifted her weight in preparation to walk away and pointed a finger toward him. "Just you wait, mister. I'm going to make you see how great you are and then I'll win your heart properly!"

She turned and ran down the hallway toward her classroom, a plan already formulating in her head, leaving Semi to watch her figure disappear into the mid morning shadows with a raised eyebrow and a bemused half smile.

When she had successfully moved out of his sight, Chiasa found a wall to support the weight her legs could no longer hold and sighed as she clutched her chest. All in all, she hadn't struck out —it was more like she had hit a foul ball and she'd have another turn at bat. Or, maybe that wasn't quite right. She didn't know — baseball analogies not dealing with bases were hard for her. The point was: she wasn't out yet.

"All that you are is all that I'll ever need," she whispered, as if she were whispering to him directly.

In Chiasa's eyes there was no one better than Semi. No one as unyielding, as courageous and as deserving as he. Despite it all — everything he's come to call a disaster — he still shone in his place on his team and he still had a significant hold on at least one girls' heart.

He wasn't letting anyone down.

It was just the beginning now, but as time progressed Semi would come to see it too.

[I feel like I have to take a moment to acknowledge the cluster f- of inspiration behind this disaster of a one shot. So, shout out to Babe Ruth for the killer quote and 'A Cinderella Story' for using it in, like, 2004. Also to All Time Low for "Some Kind of Disaster," 5SOS for "High" and Ed Sheeran for "Tenerife Sea," which were all horribly quoted  here while I listened to them on repeat. 

Cheers Semi; you and I can be disasters together. o/ ]