Just Ellie

You aren't ugly

Ellie's POV
I really didn't feel good. If I'm being honest I felt really sick. I shouldn't have driven to the school and then talked to Ryan and Nick.  I felt fine before we started driving.  I felt fine , I really don't know what happened.
"We're here." I stared blankly at the small diner I was in front of.  It was the restaurant my sister used to take me to when I was little.  I almost started to tear up when Ryan said "you gettin out of the car or not" while laughing.
"Oh um yeah sorry"
"You good" nick asked me
"I'm fine" I said with a tight smile, choking my tears back
When the three of us went inside I could smell the waffles and hairspray, odd smell but it was definitely nostalgic and put a real smile on my face.
The waitress came up to us to take our orders.
"Is that ms.Ellie Jenkins, goodness gracious I haven't seen you since you were probably in the eighth grade. I heard about your sister- I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Mrs. Smith, and thank you"
"Please call me Carla"she told me as she turned to the two boys"hello Ryan, hi nick how are you boys doing today.
"We're doing good Mrs.C thank you"ryan answered for the two of them
"Are you all going to have your regulars, and before you ask-yes Ellie I remember yours."
"Sure"we all said in unison
"What did she mean by your s-"
"Come on Nick drop it"
"No it's fine, uhm how do I put this, she died, from suicide"
"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss"
"Thank you but you really don't need to be sorry, there is to much sympathy from everyone and I'd rather just forget about it."
"Ellie, that's not how it works, you can't just forget about it"Ryan told me
"I can handle her death however I want to"
"Okay"
"So, uhm Ellie what do you like, I mean I do t really know you so let me learn"
"Okay I guess, like basic stuff"
"Let's start with that"
"Okay, my favorite color is purple,  my dad makes really good steak, I'm 6'1" I am in love wit-
"Wait hold up, 6'1""nick asked
"Yeah,"
"That's really tall for a girl"
"Okay, uhm where was I, oh right I'm in love with Jaeden Martell and Wyatt Oleff"
"You're kidding me right" Ryan Said
"No, why would I be kidding, oh also Ross Lynch, they are all my mans"
"I mean I get Ross Lynch but, Jaeden and Wyatt I mean really, they're not even that cute"
"I- WHAT, HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT, they're so hot"
Nick was laughing while Ryan and I bickered.
" Stop yelling you're goin to scare off the customers" Carla said as she brought up our food. "Here you go," we all said thank you and started to eat
"Ellie,what the hell is that?" Ryan asked me
"Oh, it's a waffle with strawberries and whipped cream, I used to get it with a side of hash browns whenever I came. I can't believe she remembered my order." I looked at his eggs with toast "ew you're so bland"
"No, you're just over the top"
"Can you two please stop flirting I'm trying to eat" Nick complained
"We are not flirting" we both said
"Oh come on, I can feel the sexual tension"
"You're so dumb" I said
After we finished we got back in the car and drove back to school.  It wasn't raining anymore and a couple of dark clouds moved so now you could see part of the sun. Nick left Ryan and me because I guess he had something to do.
"Do you want to go somewhere?" He asked me
"Actually yeah, I'm gonna go home, you wanna co e with me"
"Sure" I got in my car and drove back to my house as Ryan followed.  We went inside, but no one was home.  I guess my parents went somewhere.  I took him to my room and we both laid on my bed.  Ew not like that, you perv
"You have a really cool room" he was right, I had some music posters and when I was 13 I used to collect dum dum wrappers and stick them to my wall so now it's a collage.  I also have LED lights because you know TikTok TiNgZ.  I also had a really cool wood wall next to my bed.  So, yeah that was one of the things I was proud of, it took way to much work to put my room together and make it look good so this is where I spend most of the time with my friends if they're at my house.
"Thanks" I said.  We kind of just stared at each other for a while, but it wasn't awkward it was actually nice.
"Hey do you wanna go in my sister's room" I wanted to check out some of her old stuff.
"Uhm I'm not sure, I really don't want to intrude on your privac-"
"You're fine" I said as I cut him off.  We walked into her room, it was very neat, light gray walls, a bed in the corner, some pictures of her and her friends.  It was simple, just like her.  I walked over to her desk drawer and opened it, there were a few CDs in there and some other junk.
"She's really pretty" I hear from across the room I saw Ryan looking at some pictures, probably of her and her boyfriend.
"Yeah, she was a lot prettier than me" I said looking down.  She always had everything I didn't. She was pretty, skinny, well I guess that was about it.  I was the athlete and the smart one.
"Don't say that"
"I'm confused"
"You aren't ugly"
"I never said I was, I'm just not as pretty."
"Are you okay?" He asked as tears tried not to crawl down my face.
"No, not really.  I mean why did she do it, there was no reason, she looked fine the day before."
"Ellie,"Ryan said sympathetically "you can't see hurt, did she have depression?" He asked
"Honestly, I don't know. We weren't that close but she always seemed happy." He grabbed my hand and it looked at me. We stayed liked that for awhile and it was comfortable.
"Hey uhm do you want to go back to my room."
"Woah Ellie if you really wanted me to fuc-"
"That's not what I meant shut up."
A/n
Hey y'all it's been a minute but I'll probably actually start updating again I love y'all bye bye
Word count: 1120