It's all just a mirage

Chapter three- Another repeat

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.  ~Kenji Miyazawa

1 Year later....…

It’s all a mirage. Simple as that, there is no such thing as happy endings. Well, there is but, those are in fairy tales and shit adults make up to get their kids to leave them alone. You can’t have a perfect life and not pay the price for it. I thought I did have the perfect life. The perfect family, the perfect friends, and the perfect boyfriend.  But that all came crashing down one day.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My blue eyes were covered by a lot of mascara and very thick eye liner. “Why do I even bother?” I asked out loud. I put a hand through my now dark hair and walked out of my room and down stairs. I put my hood up as I went down stairs. Uncle Jordy looked at me with a worried, terrified look on his face. He handed me 20 dollars, “For food and whatever.”

“Why even go? It’s just going to back fire in my face just like last time” I said groaning. 

“You're going because this is your last year of high school. And if your nice and sweet, I’m sure you’ll get all of your old friends back.” He pushed me out the door and kept pushing me until I was in my black Audi A5. “Go. I got you this car so that you can go to places in it. Like school. So go to school Ariel” he said, leaning into my window. “And if this idea of ‘every things going to be just like it always has been’ thing back fires, can I wreck this car?” I asked.

He looked at me, his eyes darkening as if they were thinking about something sad. As if he was thinking about-“See you later uncle Jordy.” I started the engine and took off before anything else happened. But I couldn’t help it. He was thinking about it. About it. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I drove through red lights. Cars honked at me but, still moved out of my way. My eyes started to blur and everything looked like a colourful painting that got ruined by water.

I wiped my eyes and stopped at the line up to find a spot at my school’s parking lot. Come on Real. Get yourself together we don’t want a repeat of last time, I thought to myself. 

I closed my eyes and second later, a car behind me honked, making me jump. I moved forward and found a spot at the far end of the lot. I turned off the engine and sat there. My hands glued to the steering wheel.

“No repeats” I kept saying to myself. After four months in the hospital for broken bones, concussions, stitches and a hell lot of bruises, I finally got to go home. And when I did, Luke was there waiting for me with flowers,candy,and a shoulder to cry on. But we couldn’t stay at my house. It felt too cold and lonely staying anywhere near there. So, we went to his house instead. He came over and hung out with me for four weeks everyday after school at the holiday Inn until Uncle Jordy sold my old house, sold his apartment in New York City and bought a new house here. (I mean, I had no problem moving to a different place where no one knew me but, he wanted me to stay here in an environment I actually knew by heart.) 

His boss even transferred him and everything (his a photographer). After that, I went back to school. They said that it was fine and that they understood why I was away for so long. But in order to graduate on time, I was going to have to take some of my grade 11 courses as well as my grade 12 ones. But on my first day back it was the worst day of my life. I broke down and started screaming at the top of my lungs whenever someone made me think about them. (Which was almost every second of the day.) So I only went to school for half of the day. The next morning, Luke came up to me and dumped me saying, “I think you’re really hot and all Ariel but, your way too complicated now. And plus, you’re a spazzing, crazy, cry baby now.” 

After that he walked away and I ran back to my car, nearly having a panic attack. I drove all the way to the house. That was when the cutting started.