美し世界 - utsukushi sekai (one shots)

Surrounded by Death

Why does tomorrow always have to come? Not like living another day would make a change to my life.

What does the word "life" even mean in the first place? Such a simple word yet there is no one here to explain it

There are countless ways for a person to die throughout a day. Yet why is it so scary? Why does it seem like I'm going to be forgotten and people wouldn't care the slightest?
Why?

I've tried to suicide countless times.
I've tried to hang myself, stab myself, drown and what not.

Is it alright for someone like me to even decide of how to die. Not like I would be able to do anything if I were on the verge of death.

People tend to be quick to try to understand someone. Even if they don't understand a thing about how that person feels they create an image of them which isn't how they feel at all.

Everyone has their own image of themselves. Others lack the understanding of that.

They pretend like they know how it feels when something happens. As if that sadness bleongs to them. I mean others aren't me so they won't understand how I would even feel.

Even I sometimes forget the reason why I'm having negative thoughts like these in the first place

But I do know that I'm not fine and can feel this annoying pain in my chest. Being persistent and not going away. Why can't people leave eachother alone. They don't have to try to put their nose in between of others personal issues now do they?

In this world people die easily
Humans are such fragile creatures
Sorrounded by death in this world

Why did I even want to die in the first place then? The answer is simple.

Because death is an escape from everything. You can't complain about it since there is nothing you can ever do about it

The afterlife must be a really nice place since no one ever comes back from it

                                                -mafumafu

In the end I'm still way too scared to suicide.

I want to disappear somewhere far away where no one would be able to reach me                              
                                -Miyazono Nanami
    
Even if I feel like that every single day I just can't bring myself to die. It's not like I chose to become like this.

Trapped, pathetic and unable to do anything.

I don't want to live. I don't want to do die either. I hate you. I hate myself. I hate everyone. This punishment game known as "life". Please forgive me.

-mafumafu (batsu game / punishment game)

I wish this miserable life would come to an end already.

A/N

Red spider lilies are represented as death in traditional Japanese flower language

In case you're curious these are just some of my thoughts. While some of these are made up.

A few of these are also personal experiences and I'm writing these here because I guess it was just too kuch for me to keep it to myself.

These are mostly just some dark thoughts that I realized through various experiences.

I will try my best upload daily.

See you guys later~