Walk the line

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As Zhan lowered the car window on his side a gush of cold air welcomed him, as his hairs were thrown in a disheveled mess. But the air was refreshing befitting the nice weather they had today. Zhan then felt a head falling on his shoulder, and knew too well who it was. Zhan smiled adoringly and said, "Bobo, instead of my shoulder, how about you put your head on my lap? This way you will have a nice nap."

Zhan felt Yibo nuzzling his nose in the crook of his neck and whined, "This is better, Zhan-Ge. Legs feel uncomfortable if I sleep on your lap."

Zhan stretched his hand and brought Yibo in a side hug kind of way , and allowed him to access his shoulder more comfortably, " Okay. If you say so. Take a nap. I'll wake you up when we reach our grandparents' place." Zhan linked his and Yibo's fingers gently, and again chose to look out of the window to see the passing scenery.

It was the last month of the year, and Zhan was 18 now, that too freshly out of high school. Though which University he wanted to enroll he wasn't sure about it. His grades weren't the problem, but he didn't want to go too far away from Yibo. For the past 10 years, it feels,his life has been shaped by Yibo's existence. Always involving Yibo in any decision he undertook. He didn't know himself when Yibo became his, first and foremost, priority, but he doesn't regret any of it.

Though he was forced to apply to all the big universities, by his parents and teachers, and Beijing University accepted him. But Chongqing University accepted him too. Now he wasn't sure, should he go for the one his parents want, or choose the one his heart wants him to?

"Aiya Zhan, you always spoil Yibo.", Yishi said smiling seeing the boys close like always, while she bounced a baby girl on her lap.

" If I won't, who would?", Zhan said  chuckling to hide the bitterness in his words.

Since their parents had a new baby two years ago, somehow Yibo was pushed aside. Zhan didn't mind another addition to their family, but somehow after the baby came he could see some changes. How come, before the baby,their parents could never have much time to stay at home and spend some quality time, how come they always had shifts at the hospital during festivals; and since the new baby came all things changed, how come they now had all the time in the world to spend at home.

Well, at first it didn't matter, cause he understood that their parents worked hard for them, but he couldn't take the change in his parents behavior. He could clearly see his parents being worried about the new child all the time. Even a little development in the baby would be of something of great interest to his parents.

But how about Yibo? All these years he had seen how Yibo had made progress, little by little, in spite of his sickness, where was their parents then. He was the one who brought out the matter to take Yibo to the speech therapist to help him a little with his talking, and sign up for the taekwondo for his self defense, but his parents was reluctant to spend money on that. Then how come they would spend so much on the baby, getting her all the organic food and expensive clothes, though kids would grow out of clothes soon. Also there was all these money for his tuitions, which he didn't even need help from, but how come they weren't willing to spend some on Yibo, after all by The Almighty's grace they were making tons. After a lot of protest, from Zhan,though they had to agree.

Since joining the speech therapist Yibo has made a lot of progress, though he still can't fluently speak, but it's way better than before. Though Yibo might not be good at studies, and the least he could grasp was the knowledge of a 1st grader. But he somehow, quite surprisingly, turned out to be good at grasping taekwondo. His parents got to know about this development recently, but their reactions were moderate. This wasn't always the case, but when it started to be like this he had no idea. They didn't even allow Yibo to hold, or come near the baby for months after Yishi came with the baby from the hospital , as they were scared Yibo might do some harm to the baby unknowingly. Zhan felt it was too much.

Sometimes it feels that those three are more of a family, and it seems he and Yibo doesn't fit in their perfect picture. Maybe he's thinking too much into this. But once he starts thinking he can't stop.

To tell the truth, the little baby is adorable and he loves her as his little sister, but he can't bring himself to care about her like he cares about Yibo. And Zhan knows he cares about Yibo not because he has cognitive disorder, but because Yibo is more precious, and when he even thinks about Yibo there's this feeling in his heart he can't put a name to it. Zhan knows it's with only Yibo he will feel the instinct to take care of someone, or the willingness to look after a person, to always be worried about them, the urge to know if that person is doing fine, or not, when they are not in front of Zhan's eyes; it has always been Yibo, and maybe it will always be?

Yishi didn't find anything amiss and chuckled back, "Always joking. So have you decided about the University?"

Zhan put on a fake smile and retorted, " I think I still need some time. So I hope on this trip to grandma's you won't bring it up. I really need some 'me' time, right now."

Yishi smiled back, " Aiya, if you want that I won't bring it up. But Zhan, for Yibo, don't sacrifice your future. I'm really indebted to you for taking care of Yibo till now. But he is not going to progress more. You know his capacity. Therefore don't limit your boundaries for Yibo's sake-"

Zhan couldn't put up with Yishi's words and had to broke in, when he felt Yibo going stiff in his arms, "I think I've told you before it would be better if you let me make my decision, and stop bringing Yibo in everything and belittling him. Can you for once give me, and Yibo,some space?"

"Zhan! Is that how you talk to your mother?!", Mr. Xiao rebuked Zhan.

" Zhujin, it's okay. It was my fault. I think I talked too much, but Zhan I wasn't belittling Yibo, I was just stating the fact.", Yishi said as she soothingly rubbed Mr. Xiao's arm.

Zhan felt aggrieved, but he calmed down himself for Yibo's sake, as he could feel Yibo being frightened as he clutched Zhan's hand tightly as if to seek security. Zhan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He tried to bring Yibo even closer, as if they weren't already close enough, which made Yibo keep his head on his chest. Zhan drew circles on the back of Yibo's hand, with his free hand, as a way of assurance. Yibo was quite sensitive to emotions, and could pretty much understand what Yishi was talking about.

Too much was going on then Zhan could handle, but he knew he had to stay strong not for only himself, but also for Yibo; and maybe like always Yibo would be his strength, the one to power him up whenever he felt himself in low spirits. When he wanted to be there for Yibo, why was everyone else thinking being away from Yibo would do him good? What if it didn't? What if it isn't Yibo who's dependent on him? What if it's the other way around?

Zhan kissed lightly on top of Yibo's head, and closed his eyes to take a nap. For now, he should only be concentrated on having a good time at his grandparents's place, with Yibo.

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Hey, lovely readers! I hope everyone is doing fine during this hard times. So here's an update for you all! I hope you enjoy it!

So some of you have been asking if cognitive disorder could ever be cured. But unfortunately, no. There's no cure for it till now. It's a sickness we all know really less about. The first time I read about it was in a Chinese novel called ' Brothers' by Ren Ti Gua Jia. It's so beautiful! The story is really a piece of art. From this novel I got to know about it, and I wanted to others who doesn't know about it to actually be aware of it, even if a little number of people. I would highly recommend people to read this novel; but I'm warning you it consists 'incest' and it's bl, so if you are uncomfortable with this facts then don't read this.

Lastly don't forget to comment to give me a boost!

Till the next time!