Walk the line

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Get ready for a roller coaster of emotions.

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Owing to the fact he was finally able to name his feelings for Yibo, it would be a lie to say if Zhan, for once, didn't think about just going to Beijing and creating some distance between them so that he would be able to get rid of these unhealthy emotions he held for his brother. First of all, out of the blue questions arising about ones own sexuality is a lot to take in. But falling for Yibo is not just about loving someone from his own gender, cause he was sure, if it wasn't Yibo he wouldn't ever like anyone from his own gender.

Though falling for Yibo was complicated in so many sense. Yibo was his brother, though step. Even if we try to look past that,  how can Zhan be sure Yibo would actually ever reciprocate his feelings with what Yibo was suffering from? Heck, what if Yibo just saw him as brother and loved him in that brotherly sense?! While here Zhan had already lost his heart to that cheeky little fool.

At the end, Zhan couldn't be so heartless and choose to leave Yibo completely. So he enrolled in Chongqing university under his parents' sad gazes. And as he started his university life Zhan thought in order to forget about Yibo he should go out more, and finally he should try to find himself a girlfriend. Maybe not having any girlfriend till now ended up screwing his mind and heart, though Zhan knew he was just trying to look for excuses, he choose resolutely to believe in that.

So for the past six months  Zhan had hardly seen Yibo. Well, probably not hardly but he is trying to reduce their interactions. In the morning Zhan would wake up earlier than anyone else, prepare Yibo's clothes for the day, cook for Yibo his breakfast, along with his dinner which he would keep in the fridge for Yibo to warm up and eat at night while the lunch would be taken care at the take care center. Then he would leave early and return late after Yibo was asleep. Even at times when Yibo would stay awake, waiting for Zhan's arrival, Zhan would scold Yibo and try to make him not to do so.

Though it was a torture for Zhan to not to see his Yibo, not to talk with him, not to touch, not to hug him, not to cuddle with him and watch shows, not to pick up Yibo's calls, not to do nothing while just being at the close proximity of each other. Zhan knew he was torturing both him and Yibo, but he knew no other way to cope with his feelings. And it was something he couldn't even share with his best friend! What if they would judge him? There were so many 'what if's' running through his head.

So for the last two months Zhan was seeing this girl called Yaoluo, she seemed quite sweet and easy to talk to. They were in the same department of graphic design. When their  department went out for drinks  that's when they met, and the girl approached him first. Though Zhan wanted to actually refuse it , but at the end thought about giving in cause maybe this would be a good way of distraction for him.

Tonight Zhan, Yaoluo , and some of their friends were at a club, it could count as a first for him.  Zhoucheng, his best friend, chose to go to the same university but enrolled in the criminology department. He was accompanying Zhan along with Yubin. When the girls went to the washroom to check their makeup, Zhoucheng approached Zhan.

" Oi Zhan, even though you have got a girl now why do you seem so gloomy?", Zhoucheng screamed over the loud music.

Zhan put on a fake smile, shook his head, and screamed back, " What are you saying? I'm fine. There's no need to worry about me."

"Maybe he's not getting any from the girl!", Yubin snickered loudly.

Both Zhan and Zhoucheng gave him a look, and then Zhoucheng slapped the back of his head  without much force.

When Yaoluo returned with her friends she asked Zhan to dance with her. Zhan looked at the glasses of shots on their table, chucked a few glass, and nodded as he stretched his hand took Yaoluo's in his.

The dance floor was packed with people dancing, or more likely people's body grinding with each other. As Yaoluo slowly approached Zhan,  held his neck, looked seductively at Zhan's eyes, and slowly swayed her hips as she traced her hand on Zhan's clothed body. For one thing Zhan didn't feel anything from her touch at all. It simply didn't excite him as it would turn any other guy on. He simply just went with the flow. Even now Zhan's mind was filled with Yibo. What if Yibo would see him in this situation? Would he hate him for playing with a girl's emotions? He shook his head and  tried to concentrate on Yaoluo as he pulled her closer to his body by her waist.

Yaoluo smirked and went for a kiss, but before her lips could met Zhan's, Zhan reflexively pushed her away. He couldn't do it! He just can't! It feels quite disgusting to him cause he knew he loved Yibo, then what was he thinking coming here with a girl?! Before Yaoluo could react Zhan rushed out of the club, got into the taxi, and told the driver his home address.

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Hey lovely readers! Guess who are lucky today? You guys! Cause you will be getting a double update.

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Till the next time!