If I Stay

Chapter Eleven

Liz woke up feening for an early morning swim. She creeped past Vera's room and out into the driveway. She felt good this morning and enjoyed having the entire beach to herself, with the exception of some little friends. The feeling of swimming with the turtles or the fishes always took her to a different place, a happier place. 

Here out freely, without the confinement of the black gates locking her in with her demons, was her safe haven. No fear or anxiety present. Liz wrapped her towel around her waist, driving back home to prepare for her day. Surprisingly, Mia and Vera were up already having breakfast on the dining table. Jason was probably still asleep, due for a few more hours of sleep. 

Won't make it this morning. Ill c you later. Have a good day x - Kenai.

Liz read the text after her shower and nodded. By the time she was ready to leave, the house was quiet and empty.

"You can start late. Let's go get breakfast" Jason said from behind her. That's probably why she couldn't hear his earthquake snores. Liz didn't argue and hopped into the driver's seat of her ute. 

On the way, Kolohe Kai's voice filled the car in the early mornings in Hawaii. Jason could get used to this life, the simple city/island life wrapped in one. The cafe that Liz directed Jason to was only a few blocks away from her high school. Liz made the smart decision to avoid Kenai's name around Jason because she would never hear the end of it. 

Jason enjoyed seeing his cousin smile, a genuine smile. The two shared a bond that only grew over the years despite living miles away from each other. The cafe was busy enough to make the atmosphere loud but the two didn't mind. Jason spoke of his plan to find Vera a man which would make her less annoying while Liz laughed.

Jason dropped Liz off to school thirty minutes later. Liz braced herself for the few hours left in hell she had to endure. She walked past Kenai's classroom trying to find him but failed and saw an empty seat instead. Oh well. She remained on her way to her own classroom.

Kenai failed to answer his phone or text Liz back which meant he probably wasn't at school. Liz shrugged spending both breaks underneath her favourite tree and accompanied by her favourite, Nicholas Sparks. 

Kenai would sometimes be busy which meant he was unable to tend to the phone. Liz didn't question it or spam his phone until he replied. Kenai will text when he wants to text and no amount of messages would change that. 

But then the final bell rang indicating the end of school and she didn't hear from him again. Liz started feeling nervous. She ignored her fears and walked up to his friend group. Liz was reminded that Kenai was their friend and not hers, and they would lie on his behalf. She also got the vibe that they didn't like her after the breakup but that wasn't her problem. Boys were shifty and she knew it.

"Hey Malakai, have you spoken to Kenai today?" She stopped his best friend, and he was her best chance of finding answers. Malakai looked surprised to see Liz. Great, here she was looking needy and like she needed to know everything.

"Liz... I haven't heard from him all day" Liz saw the lie right through his brown eyes and stupid smirk. She stared at the other boys in the group that only nodded and supported Malakai's statement.

"Thanks anyway" She shot a fake smile back, walking away and rolling her eyes. Guys will protect their own. Why did Liz have the idea to ask him anyway? She was still on square one. Liz tried her best to not overthink or think of the worst. Kenai probably had family issues that he didn't want her getting wrapped up in. She kept feeding herself those fake excuses so her mind would relax.

Liz walked home and saw the house was empty. Her sisters were still out and Jason was probably out with a few friends. She grabbed her car keys and walked to a place that would settle her mind.

Eight hours since Kenai's last text.

She just kept counting the hours waiting for him to pick up his phone or text back. Maybe his phone broke? But he texted her this morning so that would be a lie.

Parking in the road before the cemetery, she saw Kenai's car parked there as well. And she was certain it was his car with the hibiscus flower car freshener hanging inside. 

Liz smiled walking past his car and then rushing towards Jeremiah's grave hoping to catch Kenai there. 

And she was right, he was there.

But he wasn't there alone.

Liz stopped midway and saw Kenai. With Malia. Her stomach began feeling uneasy and her head began hurting. 

If there was one name to blame for all the anxiety and social exclusion Liz felt in he senior years, it was Malia. The girl who snuck her way to the top and pushed Liz down to the bottom. The source of sadness that constantly made Liz feel broken. So why was Kenai HERE with HER? Her blood began to boil.

Kenai knew it best, how much pain Malia had caused her and yet he still became friends with her despite that. She watched Malia smirk, knowing Liz saw the two. Malia gave one final evil grin before leaning in and kissing Kenai. 

Liz swore she could hear her heart break once again. 

"Liz!?" Kenai's confusion surfaced as he watched the tears fall from Liz's face.

"How dare you Kenai. How dare you bring another girl to OUR sons grave. How dare you feed me all these false promises and be with HER!!" She had never felt this angry in her life. It was as if he spat in her face. All those dumb words he said just to sneak his way back into her life. All those broken promises and words that he never meant. She didn't even care about that.

She cared that he brought another woman to the resting place of her baby boy. That her son had to watch his father with another girl.  She cared that he disrespected her to this extent and didn't even give her a chance by texting her. 

So Kenai ghosts her all day because he's spent the day with Malia? Just last night the two fell asleep on the phone together after proclaiming their love for each other. See? This is how twisted people can be to never mean the things they said.

She heard Kenai being the king of mind games and leaving behind a trail of broken hearts before he dated Liz. Was it too much to believe that he had changed? Did Liz rush into welcoming him back into her life again? She didn't even need to drive and buy a mask because everyone already knew she was a clown.

Why. Why did people think it was okay to do these things? Why did he think it was okay to treat Liz like this and give no second thought to her. Why did Kenai wedge the knife that was already deep into her heart, even deeper?

"Liz please wait" Kenai ran towards the Ute trying to stop her, unsuccessfully because Liz sped off. She let her tears fall as she kept driving.

Stupid. Stupid.

She let her guard down once again and died inside once again. Really Elizabeth?

Her heart began pounding to the point where it almost left her chest. The hot tears fell onto her lap, soaking into her skin. All these voices inside her head began screaming. 

She could hear the little voices beside her criticising her.

You were wrong

He hasn't changed

She saw Kenai's caller ID appear from her phone and threw it out the window with no hesitation. This was the life she chose to live while her baby boy was gone? Liz apologised to her son that witness Kenai's infidelity. Was it even infidelity if they weren't together. He had no obligations to her so who was she to think that Kenai would stay loyal for nothing. 

What a joke.

She couldn't hear anything anymore. Her mind was going crazy processing all these emotions at once. Hurt. Anger. Betrayal. Liz had been done for a while and she stayed for what? To witness all this hurt all over again. She wanted all this pain gone. She needed all this pain gone. She didn't care anymore. All she was thinking wa- CRASHHH!

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