I have to go to an alternative school, because I missed nine days being at the damned hospital. I can't help it my parents found me before I had the chance to die out. I mean it was supposed to happen. I just can't get why I didn't. No one knows how it feels to brutally hate myself, and the things I do. It's the idea that I'm striving for recovery but when you don't have anyone to be there for you, aren't you supposed to always have someone. They say everyone has someone but I have no one, I have family but I can't talk to them about problems. I mean honestly who can. It's the idea that I have no one, and now I going to a school with no one that I know, I'm not sure what I going to do for the 25 weekdays.
I was getting ready while listening to And The Snakes Start To Sing by Bring Me The Horizon and the line Don't tell me I'm better off dead because Heaven's full and Hell won't have me, Made me think. I mean I attempted suicide because everyone told me I was better off dead, but when I attempted I failed. I don't understand why I'm still alive but i want to recover, because for the short while I was at the hospital I witnessed true happiness, a happiness like no other. I felt loved, the other damaged people were there for me. Even though most of them were worst off than I was, it seemed as if I connected with them perfectly and now I'm going to a school full of normal people who most likely are there for long suspensions.
I spent most of the way to school thinking about what to expect, what would happen at the place called an alternative school. When I got there I saw a line of people getting scanned with a metal detector were the children here really that horrid?I looked down trying to hid my face, to witch a saw a leg with a house arrest bracket locked on the ankle. I started breathing heavily and the next thing I knew, I was having a panic attack. People surrounded me telling me to breathe, but I simply couldn't. I started crying and heard someone say " He's probably another emo fag," I actually felt hurt at the sound of that. I just wanted to go home, that's all I truly wanted. After about fifteen minutes I calmed down and everyone just seemed to be awkwardly standing there, staring in my direction. It was everyday that someone saw a person have a breakdown, which in this case was an anxiety attack. I'm pretty sure I've just lost about every chance I had at making friends here.
The school was two class rooms and a small cafeteria, that was all, it wasn't big at all. The only thing I liked about having to attend this school is that school is only three hours long. Fifteen minutes for breakfast, then two hours and a half for work, that was done on the computer, and finally another fifteen minutes for lunch. I loved the fact that I wasn't forced to associate or socialize with anyone. The first day was pretty easy, I did basic math and science on the computer.
When I got home I decide to check my Facebook, I didn't use it as often as some people, but I did in fact use it. I signed in and the first thing I noticed was under the People You May Know tag. It was a person of whom I found very attractive. I clicked his profile picture and his about me section.
I'm Kellin. I watch anime and enjoy rock music. I write songs from time to time but I've never sang any of them. I live in Medford, OR, That's only a city away from me I thought as I read, I'm a special snowflake and hardly do anything with my life.
I began scrolling through his time-line, and saw a few picture about depression, and self harm. Then I saw this one picture of Kellin with the words, Wrists are for bracelets, not cutting. His beautiful hair and green/blue eyes stood out so perfectly, just like his perfect skin. I decided to message him, maybe I'll end up making a friend, butt probably not due to the fact that I'm a major loser. I still had a pinch of hope so I did it.
Hey Kellin, I couldn't help but notice you have the same music taste and interests as I do. I also find you hella attractive, and was wondering if we could be friends?-Vic
---
Can we take a moment to recognize how gorgeous Kellin is
but I hope you enjoyed this small chapter.
YOU ARE READING
I Kissed The Scars On His Skin (A Kellic Quentes Fan-Fic)
Fanfiction~*TRIGGER WARNING*~
