The Blank Canvas

|ｃ ｈａｐｔｅｒ ３|

"I accidentally invited you and the gang to dinner with Edward" Jamie blurted out interrupting his best friend's rant.

Emily laid on her bed, dumbfounded, with her mouth ajar, "Did you really pass up the opportunity of a date with your lover?" Yes, yes, he did. Quite thoughtless if I do say so myself.

That definitely was not the reaction Jamie was expecting, especially after what happened right before their high school graduation. He thought that Emily would keep a secure grip around him; but on the contrary, she was encouraging him to get out of his shell and express himself. Despite her tenacious manner, he was grateful that she wasn't treating him like he's made of glass that breaks with the slightest touch.

Jamie sat there sheepishly while playing with his fingers, "I-"

His response was cut short by his phone ringing, and the name on the caller's ID shocked him: Dad.

Why am I constantly getting cut off by my phone ringing?

He quickly shot Emily a confused look before answering the video call, "Hey, Dad, I- I'm sort of busy at the moment. What's up?" He said dishonestly while running his fingers through his blond curls.

"Jamie- Bear!" His father- a carbon copy of him- greeted enthusiastically, "I'm just checking up on my son. And besides, I saw that your professor cancelled today's lecture, something about him catching the flu."

The blond boy shot a distressed look towards his best friend who only shrugged her shoulders in response, he let out a low groan of defeat, "Dad, why on earth do you still have your email linked to my university portal? I thought we talked about this."

"How is University going? Your classes? Art?" his father asked with a chuckle as he dismissed Jamie's question with a subtle flick of the hand, "Are they drilling you with work?"

Jamie smiled softly at his father, happy that he cared enough to call and ask about his whereabouts.

"I started on a new art piece for the university magazine with a couple of friends, we're doing great!"

His father let out another laugh, "It better be great, I'm not paying all this money for you to come out with a painting of a stickman!"

Jamie frowned at that. He didn't know whether his father was joking around or being serious, "yes, Dad..."

Jamie and his father, Mr. Müller, didn't see eye to eye on certain matters, and one big thing they most definitely don't agree on is Jamie's future. When Jamie was still in middle school, he – like many children his age- wanted to study in exciting fields to become an astronomer, a pilot, even a race car driver! And when Mr. Müller saw his son's great interest in these fields, he became persistent. But as the years passed, Jamie discovered himself, he discovered his passions, passions that don't align well with his father's ideologies. But at the end of the day, it's Jamie's life, it's Jamie's future, it's Jamie's decision. Despite the little misunderstandings they have here and there, their bond is strong, after all, every relationship is built on its ups and downs.

"Dear, don't be hard on him," Jamie heard his mother's sweet voice, "Whatever you paint is wonderful, Honey."

Jamie's frown turned upside down when he saw her slender figure come into the video frame, "Hey, Mom!"

After Jamie caught up with his parents, nervousness started seeping into his body when he realised that it was soon time to head to the diner, Darla's Diner and Desserts.

Once they got to the brightly lit restaurant, Emily and Jamie were quickly spotted by the trio waiting for them at a table. Emily sat down, leaving one spot for Jamie... beside Noah. Well, facing Edward.

Jamie chewed on his French fry slowly; his mind elsewhere and his eyes focusing on the brunet in front of him laughing comically with his friends. He watched his eyes twinkle, his smile grow, his head of dark locks turning towards him- talking to him. His mind didn't register that... And when he felt a strong kick against his shin, he choked on his fry and averted his eyes to the culprit- Emily. She subtly gestured with her eyes towards the boy beside her who now has a toothy grin on his face.

With a chuckle, Edward repeated his question, "How are you enjoining your food"

"Oh, u-uh, umm, it's- it's great, yeah, great." he stuttered slightly as pink dust coated his cheeks.

Edward chuckled again. He stretched his arm underneath the wooden table and rested his hand on Jamie's knee; his eyes never leaving the blond boy as he watched Jamie's body squirm under his gaze in shyness.

Jamie felt sparks erupt in his stomach- he didn't know if they're because of the small gesture and enchanting smiles Edward shoots him or because he wanted to suppress his emotions towards these small gestures and enchanting smiles.

Abruptly, tension arose in his face, his limbs felt heavy, as his mind replayed the last anxiety attack. His breathing became more rapid, more shallow, with every deep breath he took. No, no, no. His mind wouldn't shut down, it kept racing. Irrelevant thoughts flooded into his head and swirled together weighing his mind down. In these moments, right before he was indulged in his personal hurricane, he needed the cigarette... anything to stop the emotions, anything to let him escape.

He quickly glimpsed around the diner's table- all his friends were in joyful conversations. Even Emily. He quickly excused himself from the table and rushed to the bathroom with a pair of worried eyes following him.

He flung the porcelain door open, not caring if other people were in the stalls. With shaking hands, he splashed the ice-cold water on his face, hoping that it will calm him down, but to no avail. He stood there, gasping for breath, hands gripping the white ceramic sink tightly until his knuckles went blanch. He tried focusing on the drip-drop of the water from a leaking faucet, while he stared at his reflection- dishevelled hair, pale skin, and sunken eyes looked back at him.

When it reached a point he could no longer breathe, his head felt light, and everything around him began to spin into a hazy swirl. Muscular arms wrapped tightly around his heaving body. He didn't move, he just laid there. The unidentified person whispered soothing words that fell to deaf ears... 

"Edward..." He softly whispered once his eyes caught a glimpse of the stormy orbs.

In seconds Jamie was curled tight in his embrace, his only movement is the trembling of his limbs and brackish tears streaming down his pale face wetting Edward's sleeve. Edward held the blond between his arms tightly not knowing what to do other than pressing his soft lips against Jamie's temple tenderly. Jamie's breath started to slow down, his lungs no longer expanding selfishly for air. There he stayed, unaware of the worry that Edward felt, unaware of the time that passed, but there was one thing he was aware of. I did it, he thought. He didn't need the cigarette, he didn't need the puffs of smoke filling his lungs, just Edward. That's all he needed. Edward. With the slightest of smiles and pink puffy eyes, he rose.

He looked at the worried expression Edward was giving him and hugged him.

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word count: 1238