Purple Is Just A Color|| vkook

38~ "I want you there"

Purple POV

I have to find him.

I just have to.

I can't leave this massive thing between us like a dark cloud of negativity that is intoxicating everything in its reach.

I have to fix what we broke... fix him so he can fix me again because... that is kind of the way we work.

We separated in the worst way imaginable and I feel terrible about it, I was a mean and unreasonable bitch about my hurt feelings and I regret it... somehow.

It was as if I couldn't control myself anymore and all my pain just... busted out of me and once I started ranting, I wasn't able to stop anymore and that way, Tae and I broke each other.

Again.

The way he left me standing alone, alone with myself and my sudden and unbearable guilt and my mind playing the mistake that that conversation was all over again.

All these thoughts are floating around in my head, luring in me, waiting for me to show a sign of weakness so they can hunt me down again and make me have another messy and frantic breakdown where I just wish that it was easier.

Easier to handle myself, my emotions and the filter that is supposed to make me think before I scream at people out of rage.

Well, not people.

One person, only one specific boy that I love so very deeply and dearly and that I am trying to find right now, so I can at least try and pick up the shards we created when we shattered each other so very violently.

Even though I was right, I still am, I just have this intuition and I acted on these feelings and even though the words I screamed at my best friend are eating me up inside, I know that he is hiding something.

But the time between our fight and this moment gave me enough opportunity to accept that maybe, I just have to wait for him to open up.

Especially because I know how hard that is for him so I have to get him back because I just... can't seem to live without him.

At all.

With a sigh leaving my lips, I turn around a corner and fastly walk along the corridor leading me right towards the library and soon, I step into the familiar huge room and squint.

The hallway had been illuminated quite well but in here, the shadows that are cast over the floor by the towering shelves make it hard to see very far.

I make my way throughout the empty library, headed towards our corner... the thought alone stinging in my chest because I just have too many good memories connected to that place right by the windows.

My steps are completely quiet, the carpet swallowing all noise as I slowly edge towards the last shelf and peer around the corner.

There he is, sitting on his seat right in the corner next to the tall window, his legs pulled up from the floor and one arm wrapped around them to hold them close to him.

He is turned sideways, staring out of the window into the warm spring night, a breeze coming in through the window playing with the long brown strands of his hair.

His chin is resting on his other hand and his fingers tap his cheek in a slow rhythm as he hums a song, his deep voice causing goosebumps to break out on my arms.

The full moon outside chases all shadows away and illuminates his face in all its beauty, no flaw to be seen and his pink lips glistening in the pale light as he continuously licks over them before starting to sing under his breath and it breaks my heart when I recognize the song.