#aboutlastnight (ONC 2020 Shortlist)

Your Soul Belongs to Keanu

One goat-entrails-pentagram and a acid green portal later, Fifi and I stepped into the Californian sun, right in Keanu Reeves' backyard. The grass is greener and softer, it no longer smells like garbage, and the mansion before us is amazing. Hollywood Hills is the place to be!

I'm also pretty certain we have the right place because there are a bunch of lovely soul butterflies of all colors fluttering around. Oh, and I can also see Keanu in his kitchen, heading for the fridge and getting out a bottle of star-power water.

"There he is!" Fifi shrieks, pointing a very obvious finger.

"Fifi, quiet down," I say between my teeth. "I'm not sure we should be disturbing him. The butterflies are out here."

"Not disturb him? Why are we even here then?"

I want to explain how we actually have a job to do and it unfortunately does not include meeting famous people, but it's too late. The super star raises his gaze and sees us. I swear, his black eyes can bore into your soul like a drill, pulling out your deepest darkest secrets. He still has the John Wick look of longish hair and short-trimmed beard, except he's wearing grey sweats and a black t-shirt.

Fabulous. How can he look so fabulous? How can he groan so fabulously and walk over with the stride of a king? I swear, I'm one minute away from fainting with delight and squealing. But Damian holds me in a vertical position and forces an unimpressed expression on my face. How can he be unimpressed?

Because he's a guy and I'm not a twelve-year-old girl.

Oh, shush. He's not a guy. He's a star. Your life has no emotion or excitement in it. Damian just snarls something, so I mentally bash him with the silence stick.

Fifi clenches her fists and brings them under her chin, her knees crossed and feet moving like she seriously needs to pee. I'd probably be doing the same thing if Damian's dignity allowed it.

Keanu slides open his glass back door, an exasperate frown on his face. The moment his presence shares its environment with us, it's like the air sizzles.

Be weary. That's not just your nerves.

I perk up at Damian's words, though I'm pretty sure he's just jealous at this point because he's not as fabulous as the man before us. I open my mouth to greet him, but am temporarily distracted by Fifi cu fangirl faints at my feet.

"Oh great," I mumble. I have to admit that I find this a wee bit annoying. I'm pretty much freaking out too, but you don't see me fainting in front of celebrities. I'm better than that.

"What now?" Keanu asks, and I turn my attention to him.

"Sorry, she just got overexcited to see you. She's a huge fan." I bite my lip, fighting Damian over my next words. "I am too, though mostly of your earlier work."

"Always nice to meet a fan." He throws Fifi a slightly worried glance, but then refocuses on me. "But you've portaled into my backyard and you smell like goat." He crosses his arms over his chest. "So what now?"

I squint at him. Damian is right. There is something off about him.

No! What gave it away? The fact that he has a ton of soul butterflies in his backyard or the part where he is used to random people teleporting to his house?

"Can you see these?" I ask, waving my hand in the direction of the butterflies.

He throws a fleeing glance upward and I'm sure he does. "Can you?" he asks.

"Yes."

"That's strange for a soul hunter."

"I'm not exactly a soul hunter. I'm an important influencer trapped in the body of a soul hunter."