with the sun between his teeth | shortstory √

💌 (IV)

from Jonathan's pov

☀

i heard that you were coming for me from your friends they helped me get away from you I always knew you had a wild side, but what iwant to know is why you want me now? all the all the other times you treated me like dirt, why now when I've already forgotten about you, i guess i should have left when things started getting bad. i tried to leave many times but as soon as i got away my lungs buckled under the pressure, panting for air and I'd return, perhaps this is why i let you skin me to bone, something was better than nothing, having you touch me even if it wasn't kind was better than not having your hands at all, i could take the abuse but i could not take your absence.

i did not leave you because i stopped loving you, i left because the longer i stayed the less i loved myself but i got there in the end you know that self peace that i always wanted to feel after you. i got there in the end where seeing you with someone else didn't hurt and waking up with no one to call my lover didn't make me feel empty, remembering you didn't feel like the bitter after taste of medicine. and i look back at the months that streamed by after you broke me after i no longer felt broken and that was the journey i wanted to take take, where i am now that there will be good and bad days where some mornings i will wake up with a great smile but on others I'll have to drag my feet off the bed just to face the world alone.
b

ut i will be okay , okay after a childhood that forced me to grow up too soon. okay, after friendships threw me to my knees. okay, after a love that broke me into pieces . okay, after all of it. okay, because that is all i wanted long ago. now ive found someone that treats me like i matter that looks at me like i matter and I'm forever grateful and i wish nothing more than for you to find the same. for a long time i felt like you threw me so far ive been trying to find my way back since but now I am whole, i am complete and im happy , ino longer go to healing at the feet of those who broke me.

thank you

•💌

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THE END