I Am Numb

Part 10

My memories were back,
The world finally had meaning to Me.
I realized who the younger woman was and who the older one was.

I realized what happened in the other world, I had myself chained up in hatred,
I gave love to the world and the one the world gave to me I gave to sin.

I hated myself too much, while giving love to much.
I knew my biggest mistake, I cared too much.

I expected too much, from the world that doesn't have much.
I didn't open my eyes to see those that loved me.
All I focused on getting was attention, and I never got it.

I had myself tied up In being loved by others, and never for once thought of loving me.

I had a fight with the me in the mirror and slowly remembering how bad he looked, I saw sadness in his smile, but I still fought him.

Tears rolled down my face as I realized, the world Never hated me. I was the one who hated me too much.

I had my hand to my chest.
While I was folded up in her arms,
Like a little baby in tears.

I looked up at her and said,

"I am sorry for everything, everyone I hurt please let them know I didn't mean it...I would never let you go.
I hope I have been in your memories, because you have been deep within my soul."

The room was tense, I couldn't move but I wanted to move towards the mirror and apologize to him.

She helped me towards the mirror and I said to him;

"I never loved you, not as much as I loved others.
But you are actually my best friend, and you have supported me the most. I appreciate you for that"

I held the young woman's hand...I still had trouble finding her name in my memories, but I said to her;

"The thought of you brings me hope
this pit of love, I call it home
bless my spirit, bless my soul
you are all I ever dreamt of,
you are my mirage
longing for you fills my thoughts
I have you at Last
I have the special Love's touch"

She couldn't control the tears from her face but I could feel her sadness;

"Just when I give up on a future
you came out of my thoughts
as my heart slips and falls
you catch it with all of you
giving me yours in return,
is this a dream, I'll ask the gods
I didn't pray for this, I said in thoughts
but if this is what I get, I accept it all
this love is strength so I'll risk my all
You will be mine and I'll be yours"

I had lost consciousness due to the rush of memories flashing through my head.

I woke up again when it was bright, I saw everyone who ever loved me, family, friends and a mirror was put in front of me as the main focus.

I knew that even if I never left this bed, I had gotten something.
Loving myself was more important than being loved by others.
Family, friends...these things matter...but they shouldn't be the reason to hate yourself.

I gave myself the hate the world fed me. And I got eaten up till I almost died for love.

From now on, getting loved didn't matter... giving emotions wasn't me anymore.
The love I give,
The hate I got...
The feeling of being lost
And the moments I choose to mourn.

All these are feelings of mirage, and these are the things I have stopped feeling... because....I AM NUMB 🤒

--numb🤒™

Author's Note:

Hey Beautiful people🤗
You guys have been wonderful from the first chapter.
Finally down to the last chapter of this poetry.  I hope you enjoyed reading as much as i enjoyed writing.
Thanks for the comments and votes. I really appreciate all the love and support from y'all.
I won't be leaving you guys just like that, like i said before in the last chapter 😉😉
Anticipate my new book
ALONE!

I'd love to have you guys support me in my next book, ALONE!
See you guys there.....💝