THE DEAD POETS ━ K.SM x H.HJ

twelve

"Jinnie? Are you awake?"

Hyunjin closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. He was aware that the Seungmin knew he was awake, but he didn't want to talk to him right now.

"Hyunjinnie?"

No response.

Seungmin sighed. "I know you're mad at me. Or hurt. I'm not really sure which."

He swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing in his neck.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I don't know how I did, but I'm sorry." He looked over at Hyunjin. "I know you're awake. Can you at least say something?"

But Hyunjin remained silent, except for a small sigh.

"I don't want to lose you, Hyunjin."

Hyunjin felt a tear making its way down his face, and then another, and another. He quickly wiped them away before breaking down, turning around to face Seungmin.

"I'm sorry, Minnie. I'm just being dumb and jealous for a stupid reason."

Seungmin reached up and brushed his hair out of his forehead before letting his hand trail to his jawline, and then the side of his face.

"It isn't stupid if it made you cry and ignore me for hours on end."

Hyunjin leaned up into his touch. "I don't want to tell you and ruin our friendship. I really, really enjoy spending time with you, Seungmin. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose that."

"You won't lose me. I think leaving you would hurt me more than you."

Hyunjin shook his head and reached up to place his hand over Seungmin's.

He took a deep breath and whispered, "I like you, Seungmin. I really do. In a more than friends way."

Seungmin stared at the boy for a few seconds, unblinking, before quietly whispering, "Are you joking?"

Hyunjin paused before pulling away from Seungmin. He started to wipe furiously at his eyes.

"Of course. What was I thinking? It's alright if you don't feel the same-"

"That's not what I meant."

Hyunjin frowned at him.

"What did you mean, then?"

Seungmin sighed and turned to face the ceiling. "This is just different for me. I was never told that I was loved or appreciated growing up, and someone telling me that they like me in that way is new to me. I never thought that anyone would look at me like that, and I certainly didn't expect it from the most popular student in the school." He looked over and made eye contact with Hyunjin. "I'm a nobody, and you're you, and yet somehow we clicked. Somehow we got close, and somehow, much to my surprise, and at first denial, I ended up liking you in a more than friend way."

He turned his body to face Hyunjin fully. "I'm not perfect. I'm not anywhere near perfect. But I've shown you things about me and told you things about myself and my life that I have never told anyone else. And yet, somehow, you're still here. You didn't leave as I expected. You stayed, and when my world fell apart, you sat next to me and held it together. You're so kind, and gracious, and humble, and yet, somehow, you fell for me. And I can't even begin to fathom why, when there are so many more beautiful people that would gladly date you. But you chose me, and while I may not understand it, but I feel the same way."

Hyunjin reached for Seungmin's hands and brought them up to his lips, gently pressing a soft kiss to the back of his palms. "Seungmin, there is absolutely no one else that I would rather love than you. You've been my lantern in the dark for these past few months, and I truly cannot thank you enough. You've held me together and kept me sane during one of the darkest times in my life, and you've been the only thing I could rely on. And now that I have you, the last thing I plan on doing is letting you go. Which is why I want to ask you: will you be my boyfriend?"