ThE ScArS ..

Chapter-III "Is it worth it?¿"

I smile...I feel like I should smile..but what is it that is hurting me so bad??¿¿...why is it haunting me every second....I feel suffocated...as  if a knife is kept near my heart....day by day I feel even worse....
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But by remembering the smile from those moments.....made me realise that those moments were..........
"BEAUTIFUL YET PAINFUL"
(^__^)(^__^)(^__^)(^__^)
                    
            This thing have been with me since a long period of time...
I turn here and there...yet I don't find anyone near me..I question myself
         "IS IT OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY??"
Hmmm....I wonder....that if I am the only one here in this different space....
....I wanted to escape..but I am not that brave enough....
  (〒︿〒)(〒︿〒)
               Back then..when I met MOND....the one whom I met while arriving school....I observed his entire appearance....
            It felt weird....seeing someone who laughed so hard yet his eyes were sad....his eyes spoke that if he is in need of help.....but he pretended as if everything was fine....
           He carried a pretty smile....that was contagious...yet something was off....I then talked with him regarding certain subject matters..by then is when I got to know him more....
        It felt weird...I don't know why...so while we were talking I told him to not force upon things...he isn't willing to do....
      He then looked into my eyes and said "I am okay!!"......
          I felt as if he was forcing himself to be good enough for others....
       The bell rang and we all went back home....
         While he was about to leave...as I tend to see his  sad eyes....
(>>>>>>-phone vibrates)
         "Hello!!!FAI, where are you now??...come back home as fast as you can"-said my father
    I within an hour reached home...and observed..that there were people surrounding my house....I went inside the crowd just to notice the dead body of my brother......
        Tears fell down my eyes..and as I saw my father..I ask him....
         "Why?? Is it always death??....are there no other options...."
          My father just hugged me and cried along with me...
    (I neither visited school...nor any other place...it felt like everything was in vain)....
            I questioned myself..that why was I not careful enough about my brother....why was I always thinking about me...why was I not a good sister....why did I left him in the pain..
                   Later that day...when I went to his room...I could still see his pictures and posters of various things...about which whenever he described his eyes would lighten up....I just stared at them bluntly by remembering every single moments with him.......
       My brother was an irritating yet lovable brother....I do remember his smile....:-)
(DIDN'T KNEW THAT A SMILE COULD HIDE SO MUCH)
...his talks where he would describe himself as the superior one...
        Those memories haunt me....I weep out again....when I move towards the cabinet....I notice a note  book....
         As I was about to open it....my father calls me so I leave it there....and go towards down....
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                    " I didn't feared darkness, since it was my only friend"- I said to the reflection infront of me...and stared at the sky....

         (BY WRITER- I AM FOCUSING ON MY ENGLISH EVEN MORE...SO DO HOPE THAT YOU ALL WILL SUPPORT ME AND YOUR OPINIONS REGARDING STORY ARE WELCOMED IN THE MESSAGE BOX😁😊)