Before Us (Kelly Severide Love Story)

Sharp Elbows

 "DO YOU EVER THINK WHEN YOU'RE ALL ALONE, ALL THAT WE CAN BE, WHERE THIS THING CAN GO?"

Once I get downstairs, I am slightly disappointed that Severide isn't there waiting for me as he had done before. I know it was a onetime thing and especially since what happened at the dinner, he probably isn't going to pick me up anymore.

I messaged him a few times in these past two days, each one getting ignored. 

I didn't even kiss the guy and everything is still ruined. 

Making my own way to the firehouse, a small part of me hoping to run into Severide. This hope quickly dies when I don't notice his car parked outside. 

Maybe he is late?  

Pushing him to the back of my mind, I walk into the locker room, going over to Brett, Chilli, and Dawson, who are getting changed into the uniform. 

"Look who it is," Brett looks up when I walk over, "we were just talking about how Chilli and Jimmy have been having a lot of fun" Dawson fills me in, fun referring to something sexual is what I infer from her expression. 

"Okay, all the details!" I exclaim, "it just happened" Chilli giggles, clearly ecstatic as she recalls the events, "and it was amazing" she swoons. "How many times?" I ask, "Olivia!" Brett reprimands me, "well I spent our whole days off with him so you can guess" Chilli winks before she notices Jimmy and rushes over to him.

"She is so happy" I mention, "it's has been a long time since I have been that happy" I add, Dawson and Brett, catching on that I am referring to my dry spell. 

"Okay, I am going to go and do something else" Brett leaves once she realises we are talking about sex.

"Well I have the perfect solution for that" Dawson comments, "his name rhymes with melly meveride" Dawson teases as I roll my eyes. 

"How did go at dinner?" She questions. 

Amazing until we almost kissed and now he is ghosting me. 

"Can I be honest with you?" I ask, really needing to get this off my chest but unsure because we aren't that close. "Yes of course" Dawson nods, "and you can't tell a soul," I tell her as she nods again, miming zipping her mouth shut. 

"We kind of almost kissed" I admit,  "what?" She gasps.

"And that isn't the only time this has happened," I tell her as she waits for me to reveal more. 

"We almost kissed a few shifts back" I add, "I don't know what it is with Kelly" I sigh, sitting on the bench. "We clearly have this connection" I explain, Dawson, sitting down next to me, "but every time we get close to acting on this connection" I continue, "we just can't do it!" I huff. 

"Why not?" Dawson asks. 

"I don't know" I admit, "I think it's because we know that if we ever did act on it then we would have to deal with it" I answer after pausing to think about it.

"I went through the same thing with Matt" Dawson shares with me, "we always knew that we were more than just friends" she admits, "but it's that grey area that's scary" she understands what I am going through.

"We had something good before" she continues, "and it was the scariest thing deciding to act upon our connection" she admits, "we didn't know whether it would leave us better or worse" she adds, "but now we have something much better" she admits. 

"We wouldn't be this happy if we hadn't decided to take that risk" she gives me inspiration, "but it's just that, a risk" she warns me.

"It's up to whether you are happy enough with what you guys have," she says, "but if you're not then maybe it might be worth the risk" she pats my shoulder before leaving me to my thoughts.