Weird Ass Threats-Demetrius

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I grabbed a small bag from my closet and hurried out of my room. I was meeting up with my soulmate, like every other day at 2 in the morning. Sure my sleep schedule is fucked but when was it not? I got to the park and started humming the song. I sat down under the tree and waited for a few minutes before hearing someone whistle the other part of the song.

"Hey beautiful." I said after hearing them sit down.

"You don't know what I look like." He laughed. "And I look like trash. Seriously I'm wearing a shirt with a garbage can on it and its amazing."

"You remind me of someone but I'm too tired to remember who."

"They're probably just a fan. Or a cosplayer. Or a roleplayer. I surprisingly have a lot of fans." This guy famous or something? Is my soulmate a damn celebrity? I shook the thought out of my head and grabbed my bag.

"I brought some oreos, you want some?" I asked pulling out the package. I saw a hand stick out from the side of the tree and laughed. I gave them some oreos and pulled out the pen and paper. "So I was thinking about what you said about the singing competition and started wondering what song we should sing. I heard from a friend that they were calling the soloists out in alphabetical order."

"Then I guess I'm going to be one of the last people singing." He laughed. "I only know maybe 4 people that come after me alphabetically."

"Giving me hints about who you are now? Thought you didn't want us knowing until the singing thing, which is only a month away." I smirked.

"Oh god I can hear you smirking and I'm going to pour wax up your nostrils."

"I- what the fuck? I don't understand you."

"Neither do I babe. Or my family. I'm not even sure my friends understand me. Now what were you saying about the songs?"

"I was saying we should have a specific song in case other people sing Rusty Cage or Bo Burnham or anything else. And I totally know what song to choose."

"Sure you do. What's this song called?" I thought for a minute. I honestly don't know what song to sing. I quickly pulled out my phone and started looking through a random playlist on spotify.

"This might be stupid and you would probably want a different song or even artist-"

"Just tell me what the song is or I'm going to boil your teeth"

"What's with all the weird ass threats tonight? But the song is This is Home...bye Cavetown." It was silent for a minute before he shouted.

"I FUCKING LOVE THAT SONG! YOU BETTER FUCKING SING THAT AT THE COMPETITION OR I'M GO-"

"Invert my ribcage? Milk my spleen? Curse me to have my left sock forever wet and my right shoe to always have a pebble stuck in it?"

"I was gonna say drown you in unholy water but those are good. Anyways I better go back home. I have an essay I have to write and turn in by noon." I heard some shuffling before footsteps getting further and further away. It was silent for a few minutes and I decided it was time to go back to my two favorite assholes.

{time skip brought by look at how cute these pens are}

I woke up to the smoke alarm going off. I immediately jumped out of bed and ran down the hall to Virgil and Remy's rooms. Virgil didn't seem to be phased by the alarm so I turned to Remy's room. He wasn't there. God fucking dammit. I ran to the kitchen to see him ahout to pour water on the toaster that was on fire. I ran up and stopped him. I sighed and pushed him out of the way of the fire extinguisher. After putting out the fire I turned to him.

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