No strings attached?" He asked getting dressed as I only nod in response.
"Yup," I breath out, slipping my jeans back on. He runs a hand through his sweaty messy hair and glances at me. "No strings attached," I murmur.
He walks over to me ruffling my hair. He holds my chin and tilts my head up slightly up towards him. "You're amazing okay? You're just my little uhm, mate," He whispers softly, gently pushing me away with his fist playfully.
I let out a light pained laugh. "Y-yeah I know, I know, mate," I tease and rub my arm sheepishly. He smiles weakly at me, biting his lip while averting his eyes away.
He pulls me in for a hug and squeezes me gently. We smile timidly at each other.
"See you later darling," he teased pulling away, causing me to roll my eyes. He saluted walking out of my room.
I plop down onto my bed, running a hand through my hair. I can't believe I just did that with my best friend, the guy I've known forever.
That was years ago. Charles and I still have our little hookups here and there. It didn't feel the same as it did when we were in high school.
I'm in college. He's living his life out in the world, being one of the best actors I know. Now, he's with someone else, supposedly.
I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. How could I not?
Anyways, we basically share apartments, I mostly stay over at his place or he sometimes comes over to my place.
I never understood what's going on between us. I feel like I'm nothing but a fuck buddy to him but he disagrees with me.
What more would I be? A fuck best friend buddy? That's stupid. I hate this, I hate having affection-less and unloving hookups with somebody that, I think I love.
Do I love him like that? That's, I couldn't. He's like my big brother, right? Or is he?
I jolt up as soon as I hear my door open and keys jangle. I see Charles with his luggage and guitar bags.
"Well, look who came crawling back. It's my little shit head," I tease, walking over to him.
"Shut up loser, come here," he smiles softly, pulling me into a hug. I put my head on his chest and he rubs my back. He looks down at me, holding my waist.
"I see you kept the spare key I gave you," I chuckle and he smirks.
"Why would I forget it?" he hums.
"How was the recording and traveling?" I ask changing the subject, smiling up at him. He places down his things, leaning against the wall while glancing at me.
"It was amazing as usual," he says, biting his lip. "It was so much fun, kinda stumped that it's over," he sighs.
"It's okay. You have the next movie to look forward to," I mutter quietly, walking over to my kitchen.
He follows, grabbing my waist gently while lying his chin on my shoulder. "I've also missed you," he murmurs in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine as he rubs down my sides.
I reacted quickly, pulling away. I look at him as he gave an offended expression. "I can't do this Charles," I whisper, looking away.
He frowns slightly, "What's wrong, are you okay?" he asks quietly, stepping closer towards me. I only take a step back and he looks even more offended.
"I-I just, I can't do this," I point between him and I. He furrows his brows and cocks his head to the side.
"What are you trying to say? W-we're just friends-" he says, holding my wrist. I pull away, sheepishly rubbing my arm.
"That's the thing, Charles! We're just friends," I whisper, looking into his eyes. "I-I can't just be bloody fuck buddies. I want more than that. I can't have this kind of relationship anymore- friends with benefits yet even if it's just for sexual desires."
"Y/n-" He holds my chin, looking down at me.
I push him away, looking down at the floor as tears flow down my cheeks. "I-I hate having to love someone- when I know they don't l-love me back," I mutter.
"Y/n, I really do love you, j-just as-" He walks towards me, only making me take a step back.
"Just as friends? Say that one more fucking time, I swear to god," I frown harshly.
He looks at me surprised at my outburst, "Y/n, it's just I can't see you as my, well- you know-" he sighs softly.
"Girlfriend?" I roll my eyes.
"It's just because of-" he runs a hand through his curly brown locks.
"Sophie? Yeah, I know," I mumble. I walk off to my room, sitting down on my bed putting my face in my hands.
I feel the bed dip next to me causing me to let out a sigh. "I- I can't do this anymore Charles, I really can't. I don't want to damage our relationship anymore then we already have," I croak out.
"What do you mean?" he asks, being gentle with his words.
"What do I mean?" I scoff. "What do I mean!?" I cry out. I stand up and look over at him.
"I'm tired of hurting myself every time we have our little hookups. It hurt's me because I know all it is- is just a sexual relief for you. It's more than that to me!" I spit, looking at my clenched fists.
He looks up at me shocked, not knowing what to say and closes his mouth. He gets up, looking at me from across the bed sincerely.
"Y/n, you don't understand-" He mumbles.
I clench my jaw, averting my eyes over to him. "What don't I understand? Hm? That you're attached to Sophie and you're head over heels for her?" I raise my voice slightly.
He slightly flinches at the tone of my voice, he looks down at me and I gulp down a lump that formed in my throat.
"Forget Sophie, okay!?" he also raises his voice. I looked at him shocked, "She's just some stupid publicity stunt, I never liked more than friend in the first place," he retorts.
He walks towards me and I back up. "Look," he whispers gently, continuing to walk closer to me.
I inhale sharply, backing up more until I feel the cold wall on my back. He places his hand on the wall behind me, making me look up into his eyes.
"What is it, Charles?" I huff, pulling away from underneath him.
"What's your deal?" he looks down at me sighing while I rolled my eyes.
"I don't have a deal. You do," I poke his chest.
"Oh really? What exactly did I do, love?" he frowns.
"Every single touch, every single glance, Charles. Tell me that, that isn't just out of lust," I whisper harshly.
He looks aside, his jaw clenched. "Exactly," I say lowly, walking over to my window. I look out at the bright city lights.
I sigh, "What happened to us?" I mumble. He walks over, looking out the window and then over at me.
"We were so close. Now, we're nothing but sloppy hookup buddies," I scoff, clenching my fist. He takes my clenched fist and pulls me towards him.
There was barely a gap between us and he didn't say a word. It went silent for awhile and I was getting tired of it. "Did you go mute or something!? Could you say something please?" I say frustrated with his actions.
He lets out a airy chuckle, "Let's start over then," he says and I look at him dumbfounded.
"What?" I furrow my brows, looking up at him. "Are you retar-" I began until he walked over towering me. I lost my voice as soon as he glared down at me.
To my surprise, he picked me up. I don't know what came over me, but I wrapped my legs around his waist and wrapped my arms around his neck. I gulp, looking into his eyes while he gives me an innocent smirk.
"Let's start over darling, and not as friends this time."
