Trust // KELLIC

Chapter 9

*Vic'S POV*

I sat on the couch the day after the party, listening to music to try and keep my mind off of everything that happened. I was so disappointed in what Kellin did to Beau, but could I really expect anything different? Beau hurt Kellin and Kellin wanted to hurt Beau back, I understand that, but I always thought Kellin was a better person than that. I guess I was wrong, but I knew he was just acting out. This was all beginning to get way out of hand though. I kissed someone else and I regret that, but it's not like Beau and I murdered anyone, but Kellin is treating us like we did. I know I hurt him and I regret that but he's way too angry and vengeful, and I don't recognize or like this side of Kellin at all.

'You may as well be dead to me.' His words were drifting in and out of my thoughts but they were always there. I wonder if he really meant that or was just angry at me. I wish he wasn't being like this. I wish I could get inside his head and see what he wants me to do to make this better, because so far I've got nothing. I don't know what I can say or do, and honestly I'm starting to run out of hope. I'm just so fucking sorry and he doesn't give a shit.

I sighed and took my headphones out of my ears because clearly listening to music wasn't distracting me. I sat up a little and looked around only to see Beau walking down the stairs with a suitcase in one of his hands. I frowned. I didn't know he was going anywhere.

"You're leaving?" I asked him and stood up. He nodded as he walked over to me.

"Yeah. I don't think it's good for me to be around this kind of partying lifestyle, so I'm going back to Texas for a little while. Who knows, maybe I'll reconnect with Isobel while I'm there," he said, referring to his ex-girlfriend. I was a little shocked he was going, but to be honest I felt relieved. Having him here while Kellin was still like this didn't help my chances of winning him back.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. For how long?" I asked.

"A couple of weeks or until I think I'm ready to come back. I can't risk losing control. I almost did last night and I don't want to feel like that again," he said.

"Okay, and what about Kellin? Are you going to kick him out?" I asked.

This was Beau's house so he has every right to kick Kellin out, but if Kellin goes then I go too. I'm not going to leave him out on his own, no matter how much he hates me.

"As far as I'm concerned, Kellin and I are even now. But if I get back from Texas and he still has a grudge against me then I don't know, I can't live with someone like that. So yeah, tell him to suck it up or he'll be homeless," he told me. I just nodded stiffly.

"Alright, well my taxi is here so I'll see you around," he said.

I just nodded again, not bothering to say a goodbye. Things had been awkward with us since the kiss and I didn't really want to speak to him all that much. Last night though I forgot everything because and the end of the day he's still a friend and I had to help him out. Now though, I had to go talk to Kellin even though I knew he didn't want to talk to me, but I needed to tell him he needs act civil towards Beau in the future.

I got up and went upstairs, stopping at our door, well his door now I guess. I was about to walk in when I stopped. Would this only anger him more? I don't think I could handle him telling me again how much he hates me. I hesitated and thought 'fuck it'. I pay rent, I can go wherever I want in this house.

I knocked once and got no reply so I went ahead and opened it. I hadn't expected to see anyone in there, or maybe I thought Kellin would be sleeping or something and hadn't heard me knock on the door, but he was there. He was sitting with his back against the headboard of the bed and his head lowered. He was just staring at the mattress. My gaze drifted to where he was looking and saw the sharp piece of metal sitting there. My jaw dropped. He wouldn't, right? I started to panic. I can't believe he would want to hurt himself. And because of me. Fuck. No.