Because I Said So

Chapter Thirteen

A month and a half passed, and my heart is still fucking broken. I cannot believe I let the game played me to the point where I was actually falling in love with him. I know I sound like a broken record but if you ever experience heartache like I did, then you'll understand this pain. Nothing seems to be right with me anymore.

After that night, Kandice let me move in with her and Charles until I was able to get back on my feet. I really appreciate them doing this for me because I couldn't be around Deontay anymore and momma put me out. I didn't care anyways because If I would have stayed a second longer there's no telling what would have happen. Momma already betrayed me before, but this time hurted much more.

From what Kandice told me, Malcolm is thinking about filing for divorce. Which I don't blame him anyways. I definitely would've since she's playing games. Apparently, momma moved back to our hometown, in Sonsville with grandma.

She's not happy about this, but Malcolm withdrew every single last penny from her account, so she had no money and Malcolm wanted her to get the fuck out.

She was trying to take the money I had saved up, but luckily Kandice brought all my things over here. Can you believe that this bitch tried to steal from me? Doesn't she think she's done enough damage?

Anyway, I haven't been outside the house because I was afraid, I was going to run into Deontay stupid ass and here some more of his lies. He's been texting and calling me every day since that night begging for me to talk to him, but I never answer. He doesn't deserve to hear my voice anymore. Not after what he's done. The more I think about him, the more I start to cry. He was the first person I trusted in a long time and he broke my trust. Like it was nothing!

I don't like the way I'm feeling or the person I'm becoming. Stuff like this doesn't happen to me. I do this to other people. I am not supposed to be this depressive ass bitch crying over a man. But here I was anyways.

I started back smoking which isn't good for me. I quit a long time ago when I was 23 but the nicotine from this Newport is soothing my pain a little. At least for now. I'm surprised I haven't been drinking heavily.

I'll have a glass of wine every now and again, but the cigarette takes the pain away. Yall ever watch the smoke from a cigarette? First it starts coming out straight and then the higher it gets into the air, the more it spirals out of control. That's me right about now. Spiraling out of control for some fuck nigga!

I started listening to Anita Baker's Rapture album and I started to feel even worse. Especially the song No One In the World. I couldn't get him out of my mind. I wanted to act like he didn't exist, but the way he had me feeling...yall I can't do this.

I heard a knock on the bedroom door, and I got up to answer it. Charles. I just left the door open and sat back on the bed. The song is blaring through my phone and Charles just looks at me like someone broke his damn heart.

"Victoria, this isn't healthy. You need to get out the house".

I took a puff of my cigarette and blew it in the air.

"Charles, I don't feel like arguing with you today. What do you want?".

He sighs. "So, my birthday is tomorrow and I'm having a party at the club."

"And" I said.

"Well I just wanted to let you know you're invited but you seem to be in a mood, so I'll leave you alone".

He heads for the door.

"Wait Charles" I said. "Look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be vicious towards you. Especially since you and Kandice open your home to me" I said.