Inscape

What have I become ?

The truth is difficult, honesty is hard and people don't always know how to handle it straight away so as someone who cares you keep it. The fact is secrets are a poison, they kill from the inside and its important to keep it tight to yourself. The second they slip, you will lose a very important key that is trust. Trust is easy to earn, hard to keep and almost ten times as difficult to gain back. And it was for me, it took almost sacrificing my life to regain it. So now lying here, watching the aurora in the forest, I made another realization I trust, a lot. For example, nature I believe it will not cause me harm, so much that i stay there in one of my most vulnerable states the dark. I even trust myself to do what I have been doing since day one hundred, to keep everyone alive and make sure we have a future, even without me. People are greedy, at this age power was never an option but now it is. That's why she's dead, the role model and the one who was supposed to have this power that I now hold. Because of greed and the want to have control and rule, who wouldn't want to be 'your highness'. It all comes in a package with sleepless nights, loss of hair from all the stress, people who want to overthrow you and pressure. Life used to be easy, easier than I what I thought it was, then it happen all in my sleep, in the middle of town square.

Overnight the world changed, now it's just us here, in this mediocre town. With the wall that is the wild. Keeping us all here we know we can't leave, the trees, branches and vines with needles have made it clear. Almost as if we were being watched, the second we make another failed attempt to leave and search for an exit animals, like bears, tigers wolf and snakes pop up as a warning even though the zoo was empty ever since that day. It became void like our refusal to believe. It was on the hundredth day that we accepted that all that's left in this common place is us, the youths of Mahogany.

I used to drown myself in fiction to escape reality, runaway to another world since i couldn't really feel the pain in front of others or myself. My innocence to the world left me at second best, alone and cracked each time. Even considering that I still care and cared about everyone, that's how being giving and forgiving to the wrong people led to mistakes and regrets. I have now grown from that, but I somehow survived the damage and I am still all those qualities.

I thoughts secrets, planning and doing what's best for those who need it for them would work, it did but it did have casualties and like always they blew up in my face.