Sweet Like Arsenic (B. Barnes) ✔

26 | all of our answers

A/N: Cringe-fest time!!

The phone rang when I was removing my makeup. Bucky was getting his clothes, ready for his long-overdue shower.

It was Steve.

   "Where is Bucky?" Steve demanded from his end of the phone when I picked up, not even greeting me like he normally would.

   I looked over to the person in question who was playing with his metal arm. "He's with me, don't worry. We're still in London."

   "I know, we still have the tracker on you." Steve's voice relaxed, pausing for a second before sighing. "One of our inside sources said that he was caught by Hydra and was turned into the Winter Soldier— is that true?"

   "Yes, but I got him out. He's coming with Leon Vallis and me to Milan. We're trying to get Lilith Emerson and Casper and bring them to back Hydra, they escaped a while ago. I managed to convince Director Emerson, the head of Hydra, to let me take Bucky with me."

   "Is Bucky still... the Winter Soldier?" Steve asked. "Is he alright, Tella? Please don't lie to me."

   "Can't tell you now—I'll call you with my burner, it's safer."

   "Alright, thanks." Steve hung up.

   Bucky looked at me expectantly. "What did he say?"

   "He was worried about you and asked if you were doing okay."

   I slid off the bed, rummaging through my suitcase for one of my burned phones. Fishing one out triumphantly, I walked back to the bed, tossing it to Bucky, who caught it midair.

   He began to dial, lying down in bed and crossing his legs. "I'll tell him you said hi."

   Judging by how he sat, I could tell that it was going to be one long phone call. I busied myself with removing my makeup.

   "Dona, how did you get me back? I forgot." Bucky asked halfway through call with the phone tilted away from his mouth.

   "I just said your name, it was way too easy." I made my way to the queen bed.

   Bucky repeated what I said, pausing for a long time before raising his eyes in surprise at something that Steve said.

   "What?" I frowned, putting the cotton pads away.

   Bucky ignored what I said, listening raptly. I sat cross-legged on the bed next to him, waiting for him to finish the call.

   "Okay, I will, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. Pause. I'll be fine, I've got Dona. Pause. Yeah, bye."

    Bucky turned to me with a new light in his eyes, smiling faintly.

   "What did he say?" I asked.

   "We found out why you managed to release me from the Winter Soldier's hold so quickly. You're different—special in some kind of way." The smile never left his face.

   "What? How? How am I different?" I leaned in closer to Bucky, who held my hand with his metal one. The coolness was quickly replaced by warmth and I squeezed his hand slightly, not knowing if he could sense my touch.

   "In the Winter Soldier Book, it says that there's a Hydra agent who has the power to shut down the Winter Soldier. Turn him off."

   "Oh," I breathed, getting the gist of what he was going to say. "So, am I..."

   Bucky nodded, his eyes so soft I wanted to look into them forever. "We thought that the agent was somebody deep in Hydra. Rumlow. Pierce. One of the head scientists. We didn't think much about finding them and just focused on getting the Soldier out of my head. We didn't realise how close we were to all of our answers."

   "It makes sense. I'm young, and my powers include a touch of longevity. Having someone young like me means that I'll be able to control you—the Soldier—better."

   "It's such a coincidence, Dona. I'm glad that they chose you."

   I brushed an oily strand of hair out of his eyes. That man needed a shower. "I don't remember doing anything... special to have control over the Winter Soldier, though."

   "It doesn't matter," Bucky said, sitting up. His face was so close to mine, his eyes so blue they looked like part of the sky.

   He licked his lips subconsciously or maybe deliberately, I'll never know. Shyly, he looked down at mine with a sudden brazen look in his eyes.

   "The lip gloss is still on your lips, it's a nice shade on you,"

   "Thank you," I breathed, tilting my face up to look him in the eyes.

   We were silent for a few seconds, just watching each other.

   "I think this is the part where you kiss me," Bucky whispered, his breath warming the top of my nose. He leaned in slightly, waiting.

   Trying to calm my racing heart, I closed the distance between us, capturing his lips with mine. I closed my eyes, savouring the moment. His hands move up to wrap around my neck, pulling me into him gently.

   We were slow—careful—like we were afraid to break each other. This wasn't my first kiss, but the tentativeness, the hesitation, made it feel like it. At that moment, everything fell away. Hydra, Casper, the mission, Leon, all gone. It was only us, and it was all that mattered. At that moment, when we touched, we were everything we needed.

   We stopped slowly, pulling away from each other. I raised a hand to his cheek, weaving my fingers back into his hair. He runs his metal thumb over my hot lips, chilling them.

   My heart pounded in my chest and I took a deep breath to steady myself, smiling faintly. I looked away from him, feeling my cheeks heat up. "Bucky, I shouldn't have left, I'm sorry for letting you get caught."

   His hand cups my chin, heavenly eyes capturing mine once more. "It's fine, doll. They didn't do a lot to me."

   I raised my eyebrows. "Seriously? They turned you, and you're saying that it's not a lot? It's like everybody knows the trigger words now."

   "At least they didn't wipe me completely," Bucky admitted, removing his hands from my cheeks. The sudden lack of warmth chilled me.

   "To be honest, I don't know which is worse."

   "Both are just as bad. Either way, I'm doing these horrendous things blindly, and I'll have to watch myself do these terrible things in my nightmares at night when somebody frees me from the Soldier. If I ever get freed. It's terrible either way." He took my hands in mine, squeezing them lightly.

   I couldn't even begin to fathom how hard his life must be, to be forced to do things under the influence of somebody else, to have someone turn him into a puppet and use him like he was nothing more than a tool. I knew that he needed many, many therapy sessions during my time with the Avengers, and I knew he would go reluctantly, but I never had the chance to comprehend how horrible it must be in his shoes.

   "Sometimes I wonder how long I'll be able to be...me. I wonder if I'll die as myself or as the Soldier. But now, with you, I know that there's at least a chance to save me from myself."

"I'm not the only one who can help—you've got Steve, Nat, and maybe Wakanda can-"

Bucky stopped me and took my hands in his once more. "Donatella, you're the only person who can help me. You can't leave me. Please don't leave me."

   I smiled, shuffling so that I sat mermaid-style in front of him, putting my forehead to his. "Trust me, I won't leave you."

   We stayed silent, holding each other for comfort and security. His lips went to mine, and we sat there on the bed together like the world around us wasn't falling apart.

< A/N >

HOLY MACARONI DID YOU GUYS SEE WHAT HAPPENED BECAUSE I AM JUST AS SHOOK AS YOU ARE.

I HOPE I DIDN'T BUTCHER THIS SCENE BECAUSE I TRIED MY BEST AND THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE IT'S INSANE.

Five votes for the next chapter to be released on Monday instead of Tuesday :) Have a great day!!