Sweet Like Arsenic (B. Barnes) ✔

25 | sociopath

I had always wondered what happened to me. Why did God or fate or whatever up there damn me so I couldn't live a normal life every other girl, have friends, go to high school and Prom and parties like any other girl?

I wanted to feel normal. When I was fourteen, I got my powers. It meant that I was becoming more and more different from the fictional teenagers in high school I watched on TV. I couldn't control my powers, so I was kept in a cell until I could control my them. When the guard came into collect me after that terrible year, he came out in a body bag with a metal shard through his neck. I didn't regret it then.

It took me another year to get back to who I was before. But that year of solitude changed me, and there was no getting me back, not anymore.

   Hydra trained me to be a killer, and so I killed. It was their fault. I was their fault. And Bucky was my punishment. We were made to be together, but we never would, not in this world.

We were having dinner with Leon, an ominous affair. I was too afraid to slip up—to reveal that the Winter Soldier was, in fact, Bucky— to properly make small talk.

Leo and I never needed small talk. We were close—too close. Conversation flowed between us easily, and comfortable silence was favoured over useless chatter.

It felt like cheating to be completely ignoring Bucky, especially when the conversation was going nowhere. Leo and I went through all the topics possible, from the weather to new movies as we ate.

"Leo, what's happening tomorrow? I kind of... missed what Emerson said." I said after a long pause of silence from both of us.

"Donatella," Leo rolled his eyes, "you've got to concentrate better, especially when you're listening to the director of Hydra."

"Yeah, sorry." I ate a spoonful of mashed potatoes before continuing. "But seriously, what do we do tomorrow?"

"We're flying out from Heathrow at eight in the morning tomorrow and we'll arrive at the Malpensa airport at eleven o'clock Italy time. Then we'll hopefully find them at their serviced apartment."

"Are you sure that they'll be in their apartment, though?"

Leo frowned over his Impossible steak. "Donatella, what's with the sudden doubt? We've been tracking their movement for a whole week! Of course they'll be there."

"You're right, I'm probably just overthinking."

   Leo nodded, glancing at Bucky who was eating his soup, sulking.

   "What's up with the soldier?" Leo tilted his head in the direction of Bucky with a small smirk.

"He's been like that since I got him."

"I see," Leo paused his eating, looking into my eyes. "How was he like, back there?"

"Back where?"

"With the Avengers, I mean. What was he like? I've only gotten to know the Soldier, not Barnes himself."

I turned to look at Bucky, who stared into his soup. I thought of an acceptable answer for Leo, who would probably be the next director of Hydra. "I think you'll like him. He has a no-nonsense approach to things, kinda like you. He was filled with guilt by all the things that he'd done in the past."

   "He seems like the dark, sullen type." Leo looked at me for confirmation of his judgement.

   "Well, yes," I said, remember that Bucky was right next to me, listening. "But he's opened up to me. At least, that's what Steve—Captain America— said. He's so kind and thoughtful as well, something that you can work on yourself."