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Chapter 2
My heart climbed into my throat as Dawn placed her hand on my shoulder, pulling me into the white room. I felt incredibly awkward as the three frail boys in front of me alternated between sharing glances with each other and glaring at me. Suddenly, I felt like the lone guppy in a fish tank full of hungry piranha.
No pun intended.
I felt like a cow put on auction before slaughter.
“He looks like a terrified puppy,” on of the boys said harshly.
I blinked a few times and gripped the shoulder strap of my bag tighter.
“Richard, we’re not having any of that. Understood?” Dawn spoke with an authority that automatically wiped the smug smile off the thinnest boy in front of me. “Why don’t you say a little bit about yourself, Max,” Dawn seemed to tighten her grip around my shoulders just before she pulled away, taking a step back, leaving me for the piranha.
Nodding once, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“Stay calm,” I mentally willed.
Opening my eyes, I spoke, “My name is Max; I’m sixteen years old.” The words came out as a rush of air that left me feeling empty. I stole another deep breath as I contemplated what else to say.
There was nothing special about me; I had no special talents. I wasn’t good at anything. I briefly contemplated announcing my homosexuality, but that wasn’t anything special, and I didn’t quite feel right about admitting that to a group of people I didn’t know. Hell, I still had trouble admitting and accepting that fact myself.
I settled with, “I love the rain.”
The smallest boy in front of me laughed at that, but the other two remained silent.
“That’s great, Max.” Dawn replaced her hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you go next, Geoffrey?”
The boy in the middle of the other two sighed deeply, as if he were bored, before he pushed himself to his feet. His pin-straight, white blonde hair fell over his right shoulder. Briefly, he lifted a hand and touched the left side of his head where his hair was buzzed to a near nothing. On each of his fingers, he wore multiple rings.
Despite the fact that he was thin, his tight fitting black sweater and skin-conforming black jeans managed to accent something within him, giving the boy in front of me a natural glamour. His face held seriously defined and strong features despite how gaunt he appeared.
I found myself admiring him. The boy in front of me looked so pale and weak but also harsh in his black clothes and intensely dark green stare. He was beautiful.
“My name is Geoffrey Ridges,” he began in a voice so deep and clear that it contrasted harshly against his almost androgynous demeanor. “I’m seventeen, and I was a model.” He jutted his chin out at me gently, almost as a silent hello as he shifted his weight and sat back down.
The boy next to Geoffrey stood up next. He stood just a few inches shorter than the angelically gothic creature beside him. Surprise hit me as he smiled gently, flashing his kind, blue eyes. This boy wasn’t nearly as thin as the other two. He actually had a little weight on him, giving him fuller cheeks and thick lips. His features were equally as strong as Geoffrey’s features; however, this boy’s chin was much rounder, softer.
His black hair grew wildly, in messy, loose waves that framed his face. “My name is Steven Davis.” His voice was light and airy, almost raspy. “I’m sixteen, too.” Almost nervously, he ran his fingers through his bangs. “I love the idea of love,” this time, his eyes fell as he spoke, and his shoulder slumped slightly, “but I don’t think it’s real.”
He lifted his head and sat back down. Just as the last boy began to stand up, Steven spoke once more. “Oh, the rain is nice too.”
I almost smiled.
Almost.
The last boy rolled his dark eyes. “Put in back, Steven.” He cast his eyes down to the boy at the end and smirked darkly before he turned his attention to me. He stood just slightly taller than my own height but seemed to puff his tiny chest out as he squared his shoulders. “I’m Richard, but don’t call me that unless you’re expecting a fight.” He flashed a wide smile that held anything but sincerity.
Rich kept his dark brown hair short and messy; it looked like he rolled out of bed without ever glancing at a hairbrush. The clothes he wore were small and brightly colored much like children’s clothing, yet still managed to hang loosely from his skeletal body.
His eyes were cast deeply in his sunken face, giving him an almost eerily, haunted appearance that I almost felt jealous about. I seriously doubted I could ever be like him. Sadly, I felt like Rich knew I was jealous; he seemed to feed from it.
“I owned a massive pro-ana website until some prick in some government position took it down,” he stated proudly.
“That’s quite enough, Richard. Sit down.” Dawn said with a sigh as she stepped forward.
Rich flashed another smiled at me as he sat down.
Dawn glanced at the small silver watch on her wrist. “Let’s cut our session short today. You can all go.” On cue, Rich stood up and darted out of the room. Dawn sighed deeply once more as she ran her eyes over the three of us. The two boys were standing now. “Please make Max feel at home. Ok, guys?”
They nodded and began to walk out. When they were out of the room, I blew out a deep breath. How in the hell was I going to survive a stay here?
I was terrified.
“You’re going to do fine, Max.” Dawn said softly.
Turning around, I shrugged. “I hope so.”
She offered me a warm smile. “Don’t let them intimidate you.”
As I nodded, the feeling that she was aiming that more at Rich mulled over in my mind. “I’ll do my best.”
Smiling once more, Dawn stepped away from me. “Go on,” she said, gesturing to the open door. “I’m sure the boys want to get to know you without the big bad shrink in the room.”
This time, I smiled up at her. “Thank you, Dawn.” With that, I started toward the door. Just before I stepped through the doorway, I hesitated. At that moment, I almost wanted to break down and call the vile woman who birthed me to get me out of here. I almost wanted to falsely promise to change, to become what she wanted out of me just to get out of here; however, just as I nearly convinced myself to use the phone on the large desk in front of me, I met a pair of dark, but warm brown eyes.
“You look a little freaked out.” The security guard’s warm smile touched his eyes, seemingly warming them to a pleasant caramel.
I stepped through the doorway and stood in front of his desk. “I am,” I admitted with a brisk nod. “How did you guess?”
Mr. Dickson chuckled. “You have the same wide eyed stare that all of the boys had on their first days here.”
“That’s a relief. I think.”
He leaned forward on his desk as he glanced around. “Let me share a secret with you, Max.”
I found myself smiling as I leaned closer.
“You’re going to make it.”
I raised an eyebrow as I leaned back. “How can you tell?”
Mr. Dickson smiled once more as he stood behind his desk. “I just have a feeling, and you should believe me because I’m the security guard. Would I steer you wrong?”
A small laugh escaped my lips. “I guess you wouldn’t.”
“You should also keep doing that. Laughing is its own medication.”
Meeting his eyes once more, I smiled once more. “I believe you.”
“Go on and get situated. I’m sure the other boys are curious to get to know you.”
Smiling genuinely, I began up the stairs with my bag over my shoulder. Three of the bedroom’s doors, the last two on the right and the last room on the left, hung ajar. I wondered if that was a rule or something. Were we not allowed to shut our doors?
It was quiet as I chose the first room on the left, the farthest I could be away from the rest of the boys as humanly possible. To be fair, I didn’t know them at all; however, I knew automatically that I didn’t like Rich.
What was the point in making friends? There was no telling how long each one of the boys would be here. I planned to spend my time here alone while trying to figure myself out.
To fix myself.
I tossed my bag on the bed and sighed as I glanced around my new home. Much like the rest of the clinic, the walls were a sterile white and completely bare. The bed stood in the middle of the small room and sat directly in front of a large window overlooking the courtyard.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I stared out the window. The clouds were even darker now as the rain picked back up. It was a typical dreary day, but as the rain trickled down my window, an overwhelming sense of sadness crept over my skin. Painfully slowly, tears began to trickle down my cheeks.
Soon, I began to weep as I cradled my knees against my chest as I cried into my legs. I wept for the direction my life took; I wept because instead of being a typical teenage boy, I found myself locked in a giant house with strangers.
I wanted to be better. Oh god, I wanted to be better; however, I knew that I didn’t have the strength to take control of my life. Whatever Mr. Dickson thought he saw in me had to be a mistake.
It had to be.
A knock on the doorframe caused me to lift my head suddenly. I quickly wiped my eyes dry as I saw three boys crammed in the small doorway. They were all staring at me.
“Um,” Geoffrey began, but Rich finished, “We’re coming in. Is that ok?”
I opened my mouth to say no, but he stepped in and spoke too quickly as he pulled the other two with him.
“I’m glad we got that settled,” he said tiredly as he plopped on the bed beside me.
Geoffrey sat on the end of the bed, and Steven stood in front of me.
I moved between each of their stares as I sniffled. “Can I help you with something?” I asked hoarsely.
Rich fell on his back as he scoffed. “It’s your first day here and you’re already trying to get rid of us? That’s not very nice.”
Geoffrey sighed deeply. “Rich, lay off him. Do you ever get tired of being a dick?”
“Being a dick comes too naturally to deny it, pretty boy. I mean,” Rich began as he leaned up, “even Steven can’t resist the dick. How many have you had by the way?” He addressed the last part directly at Steven.
Steven laughed loudly as he sat on the ground. “I’ve had quite a few less than you, baby.”
Rich gasped loudly as he clutched his heart in feign horror. “How dare you accuse me of something so horrible! I’m a pure bitch; I live my life by following the divine light and all that is holy and virtuous.”
Geoffrey scoffed. “If that’s true, then I’m the damn Virgin Mary.”
“You’re about as virgin as a door handle,” Steven mocked.
I found myself chuckling quietly at their play bickering; however, I fell silent when Rich’s nearly black eyes found their way to mine. “So what are you? We’ve already established that Steven and I like the dick, and believe it or not, Mr. Ridges, despite being the most effeminate male model I’ve ever seen, is actually straight as a rail.”
Geoffrey leaned forward. “I don’t think he’s gay. He has that whole wake-up-and-read-the-bible thing goin’ for him.” His aimed his words at Rich.
I couldn’t help but think of how many times I found my nose forcibly shoved in that damn book.
“I don’t know. I’m getting some serious vibes from you,” Rich said as he jut a finger into my chest. “You totally go for the dick don’t you?” His tone was almost accusing.
I chewed on my bottom lip nervously as I scooted away from them, pressing my back against the window. Opening my mouth to speak, I couldn’t find the words. Thankfully, Steven cut in, saving me from saying something incredibly stupid.
“Guys, let’s give him a break. It is his first day here.”
I turned my gaze to where Steven sat and did my best to offer him a small smile to say thank you, but it fell short.
“I’m just curious. I like knowing things.” Rich said in his defense.
“We know,” Geoffrey and Steven said in unison.
I smiled at that as I cleared my throat, automatically gaining the attention of all three boys. “I don’t really know,” I began as I fumbled with the words. “I mean, I’ve never done anything with anyone, so I’m not, like, exactly sure, but I think that I like guys. I mean, I know that I like guys, but I’ve never been with one. Ever.” My ears began to burn as I sank deeper into the bed. I nearly covered my face with a pillow.
“That’s why I couldn’t tell! Virgins are always hard to pin. My gay-dar is absolutely perfect for a straight guy,” Geoffrey said happily and confidently.
“You’re really a virgin?” Rich asked in utter disbelief as his mouth hung unhinged.
Nodding, I shrugged. “Yeah.”
“Wow!” He said as he fell backwards once more. “I haven’t seen a real live virgin since, like, middle school! You’re a rare breed,” he teased.
Steven stood up as he grabbed Rich’s wrist and pulled him to his feet. “That’s enough, Rich. You’re such a dick.” He began pushing him toward the door.
“Proud of it!” Rich yelled as he was shoved through the doorway.
“Don’t mind him,” Steven said as he sat on the bed next to Geoffrey. “He’s the only legitimately insane one here.” He extended his hand to me. “I’m Steven. Anorexia.”
We shook hands as I blinked at him.
“Geoffrey over here,” he waved as he extended his hand. “Started off as bulimic but somehow made my way into Anorexia.”
They stared at me expectedly as I blinked at them blankly.
“Oh, what is your method of madness?” Geoffrey clarified.
I frowned and mumbled an, “Oh,” pausing I sighed before continuing, “both. I’ve never really favored one over the other,” I said honestly.
“Never be ashamed of it, Max,” Steven said as he smiled. “It’s part of who we are.”
I nodded as the two boys stood up.
“Welcome to The Skinny Boy House,” Geoffrey said as he stretched.
“Welcome to the club,” Steven added.
With that, they turned around and left. “Welcome to The Skinny Boy House,” I mumbled as I fell to my back. Despite everything that happened in my life, I smiled as I mulled over the thought that maybe, just maybe, my stay at the clinic could actually be beneficial.
The possibility of making friends actually seemed possible.-----
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