Enter Ecstasy [Haikyuu M/F reader One shot book]

⚠️☁️Tendo x Depressed!Male Reader Part 1

⚠️- self-harm, suicide attempt, vulgar speech, childhood abuse/trauma, and PTSD, domestic violence. I know this is a pretty messed-up chapter. If you are willing, Read at your own risk.

With that, enjoy (?) the story. It's a long one.
----------------

Reader POV

I was walking home from school since It wasn't that far. It was late evening, the sun was setting. I stayed at school a little after with my volleyball adviser. The probability of me being played wasn't likely. The chance of me improving enough for that by the end of the year wasn't possible; maybe next year, if I trained hard over the summer, I would be good enough to join my high school team... As usual, I was just in the way. I was really hoping to get on the court during my last year of middle school.

As I walked, I heard a shout and what sounded like a woman being hit by a man. I tense up and start shaking as I think to myself. 'stay calm (y/n) stay calm.' I took shaky steps forward as you gripped the straps of the bag on your back. As you go to walk past a darkening ally to get home, I glance down it to see what you had thought you heard. There was what seemed to be a prostitute arguing with a 'Client' who appeared very drunk. I started trembling as cold sweat poured over your body as you watched for a second as more violence issued. 'Move.. (y/n) MOVE!' I screamed at myself as I pinched myself should come back to reality. I cry as I start sprinting. My mind was swarming with thoughts of memories. I was trying to suppress. 'It's okay (y/n) just make it home. Hold yourself together for a few more blocks.' I ran past the park near my house, I lived in a pretty secluded suburb. My hands tremble as I pull my keys out of my pocket, rushing up to my house door. I can barely get the key in the door as hic-ups and sobs let out of my mouth. Tears starting to stream. I finally get inside and lock the door behind me.

My father was gone during the week every week for work, and I didn't have a mom, so I lived alone, I bought my own groceries, and I cooked my own food since I was in first grade. So as expected, no one was going to be here to hold me. I race to the bathroom as the memories start flooding in. Memories I didn't want to remember. "What did Mrs. Amy say to do... what am I supposed to do!" I couldn't focus. The memories were too much. I strip and jump in the shower, remember that I need to try and ground myself. I tried to focus on the heat of the shower, the smell of the warm water, the way it felt on my skin, but I couldn't do it. I succumb to the PTSD and have to live with the flashbacks.

Flashbacks ( I had over 3 thousand words of the story in-depth about what happened, but I decided it was too much detail. )

At three years old, I remember how he was drunk and dislocated my arm, refusing to take me to the hospital. I was like that for three days in constant pain until my mom showed up and took me to the hospital where the doctor had to reset my shoulder, elbow, and wrist.

I remember between three and five how while mom was at work, my dad would always tell me to either be useful to his friends and him or to go to my room and not come out. Meanwhile, while mom was home, it was constant screams and fighting, I distinctly remember her screaming, "Stop, I don't want this, I don't consent. STOP!" but my father never did. He always did what he wanted and beat us when we didn't comply. She would walk around bruised and even bloodied sometimes.

At five years old, my mom tried to sneak out and take me with her and runway with me. But my father treated her life that night saying...
"The only way you are leaving this house with my child is in a pine box." That's right, my father threatened to kill my mother if she took me with her. She looked and me and cried but smiled. I remembered how almost happy she seemed as she left the house, leaving me alone with this man that I call father. From then tell is as about seven, my grandmother gave him the money he needed to lock after us while he was looking for a job, not knowing what was happening. But not like I would tell, no one believed my mom when she said. He started breaking beer bottles over my head and beating me and making me get on my hands and knees and pray to god in apology for being worthless and not being useful to his friends.

At seven, he was gone from Monday morning to Friday night, he had mellowed out some kinda. He left me money, and I had to go buy my own food, cook my own meals, do both of our laundry, clean the house, get good grades, and practice for the one thing in life he let me choose. He let me play volleyball. The court was the one place that nothing else mattered to me. I just wanted to play regardless of how bad I was. ON the weekends, it was fight training where he beat the shit out of me until I started fighting back. He locks me outside of the house and drops me off in the forest, telling me to come home or survive. Forcing me to learn survival skills. He does what he wants with me when he wants. I can't really fight it either. And this still happens now.

End Of FlashBacks.

As I started to come too, not even knowing what was happening, I wasn't in the shower. There was a Razer as I looked to see blood all over my legs. One cut...two cuts... three... four... 13 ... 13 slices not shallow but not too deep. I start to panic and clean and bandage them. I clean up the mess. I feel nothing at this moment. I clean everything and flush the razor blade down the toilet, not even knowing how I got it.

I still live with my dad and knowing what kind of punishment comes from not getting the work done I forced myself to start it. With shaking legs, I go around and start cleaning and making myself dinner. After dinner, I clean up the dishes and do my homework before heading to sleep.

That night I dream about the spunky red-headed boy on my team. I smile, thinking about how kind he has always been to me and how much I wish he could just hold me sometimes. Was that weird? I don't know, but the visual made me feel better.

I wake up the next morning and go through school, as usual, being quiet and not drawing attention to myself. Then it's time for volleyball. I look at my team practicing.

"Satori-Kun. Please teach me to play better! I will do anything, I just want to be able to play again." I say, looking at him desperately. After that, I spent the rest of the year training under Tendo. He never seemed to notice my injuries. He always helped you when you would fall, and he was always worried about you. He looked at you with care and compassion. Your heart started to flutter when you were around him, with soft blushes on your face when he would take your hands to change how you were doing something. People tried to bully you for hanging out with him, but you never let it get you. People always called him a monster, but he was anything but. He promised to always protect you from people like that.

Sadly the school year came to its close, and you had to part ways.

Time skip to the beginning of the second year of high school.
Third-person POV