Break Up's and Make Up's

It had been three months since you and Van decided to go your separate ways, and it was safe to say those were the worst 3 months of your life.

You'd been through breakups before but give it a month and you'd be out and about like nothing ever happened, you never were the type to hold grudges or dwell on a matter for longer then a few hours. Very stubborn some would say. But breaking up with Van hurt, hurt with a pain that you'd never felt before.

Every night seemed to get worse and worse. You missed him, but you knew that you couldn't as after all he wasn't yours to miss anymore. If you was to tell anyone they wouldn't understand they would probably just ask why after all surely you were used to it given after all them years of missing him when he was touring. You couldn't understand it yourself really, so as you normally did you just kept it all to yourself. What happens in your life is your business and no one else needs to know, this was one of the things Van adored about you, he loved how private and laid back you were, just like he was himself.

You had barely left the house since your break up with Van, his jumpers some jeans and a couple of pairs of boots were still to be picked up by him, however you wished he'd never come back for them, first of all you were unsure if you could bare to see his face again in your house that you'd bought together and secondly you still loved wearing his jumpers in the evening, they still smelt like him. No you wasn't a psycho, far from it. You were just hurt.

Every night you'd sit infront of the T.V watching Love Actually or something and wonder if Van had ever thought of you just once since the day you ended it. The thought of him flirting with all the pretty fan girls that throw themselves at him every night after every show made you shiver. You weren't a jealous person or a hateful one but this breakup with Van seemed to make you into everything you wasn't.

You'd often type a message to Van, telling him he still had a pair of jeans here if he wanted you to drop them off at Larry's, just any excuse to strike up a conversation, but you'd delete it as fast as you'd written it. You knew it would hurt more to get into a conversation with him. Another week past and you knew that Van was home, well back at Larry's, from his 3 month tour today, he had left on the day things ended between you two. But you tried not to think about it. Christmas was just around the corner so your began to prepare yourself for all the festive activities and family gatherings with many questions as to were Van was and many people asking 'oh love are you ok?' But you thought you'd postpone all that just for one more night.

So as you had done for the past three and a bit months you chucked on one of Vans hoodies cried at the smell of it went down stairs and put on a movie. Your phone had been fairly quiet these past months, you'd deleted social media as you couldn't bare seeing any videos of the boys on their tour as you were meant to be there with them backstage cheering them on, how things can change. But obviously your phone was quiet as well as  you wouldn't receive any phone calls from any of the boys who were ringing to tell you a funny story about what Van got up to last night or how he left his toothbrush at home. But your phone did ring tonight, the first vibration and it was in your hand *VAN* lit up your phone, you were confused and your hands shook a little but you answered, there was a silence
"Hello Y/N it's me Van." You swallowed the lump in your throat
"Yes Van I know it's you silly." You sob but try your best to conceal it with a nervous giggle, although you knew full well that Van could tell you were crying.
"I - I'm sorry I know it's late and I'm sorry I should've called earlier I've just been on tour and my phones fucked you know that right?. I'm not making no excuses this sounds terrible but it's the truth." Van splurts down the phone, the line wasn't great as he was staying with Larry and his reception was shit but it almost sounded like Van was crying to.
"Yes you knob of course I know that...." you gather yourself together
"B-but why are you telling me this. I'm not your business anymore?" You ask. Calling him a knob seemed a bit harsh given you two had broken up but you'd just gotten so caught up in his voice you'd forgotten that anything had ever happened it just seemed like normal. Van paused before he replied
"I know Y/N, it's over and I know I shouldn't be calling. But there's no one else in this world who I want to call then you. I want to tell you about the tour I want to tell you how these past few months have been. But I can't your not mine to talk with anymore and I miss that and I know you've probably stepped out in the kitchen to shield this phone call from some lad whose perched half naked on the front couch right now but I had to call Y/N coz I want you back. I want to make you my business again. And to be quite frank these past few months they've been shit. Touring doesn't feel as good when your not there backstage ready for me to rip the clothes off of you. Or the fact I've not got your face to come home to. I hate being on my own Y/N but I hate it even more now I know that your not in my life." You didn't reply for a while. You didn't know what to say.
"I- I love you." The only words that seemed to roll off your tongue
"Y/N, I love you too. I love you so fucking much and i hope you didn't forget that these past few months because I've still loved you as much as I did the first day I met you back in college. Your the only girl for me Y/N and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." You muted the phone call while you let out a loud cry, and abruptly ended it.

Van was probably confused and worried but you'd dropped him a text saying "Don't worry, you'll see x" jumped straight in your car and drove to Larry's house, it was only 10 minutes away, you looked a state and your eyes were all red and puffy from all your crying but you were on your way to pick up the love of your life and bring him to your forever home. No doubt the other lads would be there and as you pulled up on Larry's driveway you realised you were still wearing Vans jumper with skimpy little shorts on underneath "Fuck it" you said got out the car, banged on the front door (you knew Larry's doorbell was broken) and saw Van standing there towering over you, his hair a lot longer then it was when he left and his eyes a bit swollen and red from where he'd been crying to.

You didn't talk. Or say hello to any of the other boys who were sitting in the front room staring at you two looking extremely perplexed, Van just grabbed you by the hand and proudly marched you upstairs to the spare bedroom and slammed the door shut. "We'll go back after this Y/N, I've missed our home." He whispers between kisses and as he's hands began to find their way under your clothes, "I've missed you." You reply...