//Forgotten// Chrollo x reader

Chapter: 8 Quiet

To say your time being home was horrible would be an understatement.  Though it had been a while your mother was still upset, thankfully, your father and grandfather had calmed her down so your punishment wasn't as severe as it could've been. However, that doesn't mean it wasn't painful as all hell.

Currently, you were strung up by chains hanging from the ceiling. Blood ran down you badly cut body. At this point, your body only stung a bit and your wounds were healing rather quickly but slower than normal. You had been seen by the family doctor and tests were being done on your blood.

When you arrived your family was shocked to see Illumi carrying you and even more so when they heard you had been poisoned. Immediately you were taken to the doctor and after they were done your mother had you punished. You were almost positive she went easy on you but with assassins, it was hard to know for sure.

But you didn't really care all you wanted was to get your hands on the person who caused you so much humiliation. Regardless of how much you wanted to get your hands on your birth parents and kill them.

"You may go to your room now."

Your gaze lifted from the floor and over to your grandfather. You nodded and broke the chains that held you.

"The results haven't come in yet, there have been... complications."

He walked you to your room explaining what happened since your arrival back home. You hadn't uttered a single word the entire time. Since your 'nightmare' the voices had been alarmingly quiet. This wasn't uncommon but often when your voices were quiet so were your thoughts. Though right now your thoughts were racing, what would you do after you killed them? The thought of no longer killing crossed your mind. Well, the thing charging your bloodlust would be gone. So would you still kill, what would be your purpose? What was tapping inside your head had only happened once before but this felt different.

"Grandfather?"

"Yes."

"What is my purpose?"

He thought for a minute before turning away, " that is something you must figure out on your own."

He left down the hall leaving you standing near your door. The answer you had received wasn't what you wanted to hear. You didn't know what to do with yourself, you weren't allowed to take a job and Illumi had left shortly after learning the poison was no threat to your life. Kalluto had paid you a visit when you first arrived but he too vanished shortly after.

"So I'm alone again."

You flopped yourself onto the bed placed in the middle of the large room. Glancing around your room you lingered on the different items dotted around. Random stuff you collected from jobs and times you 'snuck out'. No one, not even you knew why you got them, but deep down it made you happy?

All those thoughts were forgotten when your eyes fell on a small black and red panda. The one you got on a job, the job was simple, kill a man who was causing problems for your client. When you got there his wife and been badly beaten and was bleeding out on the floor. You went to check her but she refused and pushed you away. She told you to save her son. Here was someone on the verge of death and they didn't care about there own life.

You finally found the target and the boy. He was in a similar state as his mother. You quickly disposed of the target and checked the boy. He would live but he had fallen unconscious, so you brought him to his mother. She looked so relieved and used her final breath to thank you.

The boy lived and could still smile even after everything that happened to him. He even gave you a gift for what you did. A small black and red panda.

At that moment your mind was completely clear. No voices just your own thoughts.

You couldn't make sense of it but you were determined to. You wanted to have control, complete control over your body. Until August 30 you wouldn't stop unless you could do it. You wouldn't let these reckless thoughts or emotions get to you. Especially not the ones that weren't yours. Your mind would be quiet with only your thoughts.

"Yeah, that's my goal."

"Ahhhh!"

Blood spewed from your mouth right onto the floor next to the bed. It wouldn't stop, you couldn't stop. The blood gathered on the floor in a thick pool of dark blood.

"Agghh!"

'I can't breathe, ' you couldn't calm yourself down, ' I'm gonna die, but  they said I was fine'

It was clear to you that death was once again a possibility but this time you were going get everything under control.

'Okay come on focus'

You focused on your breathing first. Your family would be aware of your struggle soon if they weren't already. Next was your nen maybe you could focus it on yourself. It took multiple tries but you got your heart rate to slow and you no longer coughed blood. Though your efforts were great you only bought your self a couple of minutes. Soon like before your vision turn black as you caught a glimpse of your family and doctors rushing to your side.

'Sleep child'