|Sanders Side Oneshots~|

(angst) Logan- I'm.. I'm fine..

Warnings;
-Mentions of Depression
-Loneliness
-Self harm
-Self Doubt
-Self Hate
-Body hate/intrusive thoughts
-Sad boy Logan,

Song themed;
'Irrational by Cavetown'

~~~~~

He didn't see the benefit in spilling how he truly felt to anyone..

He didn't trust anyone..

He didn't want to trust anyone..

It was all irrational,

Uneeded..

His hands slowly brushed through his messy hair, bed hair sprawled out over his pillow as a small sigh left his parted lips. He reached over to his glasses, softly pushing them on before laying back down, settling his gaze on his ceiling, the soft glow of the morning light spilled into his room from the shut blinds, causing his eyes to slowly adjust to the dim light.
He slowly raised his hands lightly in front of his eyes, admiring the leathery finger tips as he turned his hands around slowly, healing scars stretched over his skin, though he knew no one ever noticed..

The soft patter of tears slowly sliding down and hitting his bed sheets made him take a deep inhale, lightly brushing it away, caressing over his cheek bone in the process.

He knew he had no energy to get up, well.. figuratively, he had the literal energy to do so, but he didn't seem to want to move a muscle, his blanket weighing him down, pressing him against his mattress. He didn't want to protest against his own bed, deciding to just turn on his side, taking a few moments to himself.

His nails softly dug into the flesh on his wrist as he slowly itched it, he wasn't necessarily itchy, it just.. felt nice..
The soft rushes of pain shooting through him, his fingers brushing over the soft pumps of his irritated skin as his nails jabbed and pulled at the former cuts he made the night before.
It obviously wasn't a logical or healthy thing to do, but the feeling of his cuts reopening gave him the sense of calmness that he needed.

The soft knock at his door caused him to sigh, knowing he had his back to the door, and didn't feel like moving.
"Kiddo, you okay in there?"
He hummed in answer, before realising Patton probably didn't hear him as he sighed quietly.
"Yes Patton, I'm perfectly fine."
He could hear the shuffling on the other side of the door before the other spoke again. "Are you sure..? You slept in, and you didn't answer to Roman earlier.. can I come in?"

He bit his bottom lip softly, glancing at his bleeding wrist, only now realising the damage he had made to his wrist, the blood bubbling up softly and slowly slithering down his arm as he grumbled, making a quick dash to his bathroom.
"I'm just in the bathroom right now, I'll be out in a minute-"
He closed the bathroom door behind himself as he held his wrist out hoping it wouldn't catch on anything as he rummaged through his cabinet beneath the sink, sighing in relief as he found his med kit.

He heard his bedroom door open and a soft knock on his bathroom door as he gulped.
"Logie are you okay, really..?"
"Can we not have this conversation right now..? I'm fine, really-"
Patton sighed, slowly sitting on the logical side's bed patiently waiting for him, before a glimpse of silver caught his eye, hesitantly getting up and walking over to Logan's desk.
His hands gently picking up the slither of silver as his eyes widened softly at the sight of it, blood staining the blade as he gulped, shakily looking up to the bathroom as Logan slowly made his way out.

Patton gulped, raising his hand with the blade as Logan froze in place, opening his mouth to speak but no words would come out, Patton's eyes filling with tears as he sniffled.
"Arms.. show me your arms.."

"W-what?"

"Logan, show me your arms.."

The other shook his head softly, trying his best to keep his stoic expression plastered over his face, though his eyes glazing over in fear and unshed tears as the other gently placed the blade in his pocket just in case.
"P-Patton, you don't u-understand.."
"Please just do this the easy way.. please..? I just want to help you.. Loga-"
The other sighed, hesitantly pulling up his sleeves one by one, the newly wrapped bandage over his left arm, covering his full forearm.

Patton gulped, looking down at his arm as Logan sighed, sitting on the end of his bed the dad like trait hesitating before walking over and taking a seat beside him, gently wrapping an arm around his shoulder.
"I'm here for you.. and so is everyone else.. why- w-why didn't you tell us you were hurting..? We would do anything for you.. anything.."

Logan gulped, shaking his head as he bowed it sofly, it taking a minute to register in Patton's mind before he realised the other was crying, tears running down his cheeks as he gritted his teeth before sniffling as he took a deep breath.
"I.. I don't understand.. I.. i don't understand what's wrong with me.."
He managed to mumble out, soft sobs leaving his parted lips as he hesitated before wrapping his arms around Patton not minding the sting as he hugged him tightly, crying into his shoulder as Patton gently took Logan's glasses off for him, letting him cry.

The father like trait gently rubbing his back in attempt to reassure him as Logan cried, letting his words sink in.
"Oh Logie bear.."
He gulped lightly, sighing as he hugged him close.
"I'm here.. we're all here for you.. we all love you so much.."

Logan sniffled, weakly pulling away after his tears began to calm down, Patton gently wiping his tears away with his thumb as he looked into his eyes before helping him put his glasses back on.

"Emotions are the bane of my existence.."