|Sanders Side Oneshots~|

(angst) RoLogicality; Sorry..

Warnings;
-Mentions towards character death,
-Depressive subjects,
-Overall angsty
-Depressed!Logan..
-Soulmate au (Logan x Roman x Patton)
-Mentions of abuse / Sexual abuse

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Logan's Pov

Clear tears slowly slid down his cheeks, his quivering pen in hand as he stared at the paper before him, fingers tightly clutching the blue ballpoint pen as he wiped at his eyes with his spare hand, wiping away the tears that he shed with the rough fabric of his sleeve.
He felt the soft tickle upon his skin as he gulped back his sobs, his eyes glancing down as he forcefully slid his sleeve down to look at the cursive writing, red and light blue ink slowly appearing..

Virgil; Hey you two, I hope you guys are okay, I managed to get a B in my maths class!

Roman; I'm proud of you emo nightmare! Well done, you studied hard for it I'm sure!

His bottom lip quivered as he hesitantly adjusted his hand before writing a small response to his soulmates, tears slithering down as he did so.
'Congratulations.'
The responses continued to over ride his skin as he gulped harshly, he knew he didn't tell his soulmates his name, they didn't know anything about him.. and he didn't plan for them to do so, he was just a waste of space in the human race..

He was a mess up and he was aware of it.. afterall, he was reminded every day..

He hesitantly turned his attention back to the blank piece of paper in front of him, a small sob breaking free from his parted and glossy lips as he slowly began to write..

Dear My Unknown Lovers..

His body flinching harshly as the sound of shouting and cursing was heard from downstairs, his eyes closing tightly as he took a deep breath, shakily exhaling before he smiled faintly, having no choice as he already saw the start of his writing.. he knew there was no point wasting a piece of paper now.

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Dear My Unknown Lovers..

I'm sorry I missed your calls for months it seems.. I don't realise how mean I can be sometimes.. because I can sometimes treat the people that I love like jewelry; I can change my mind each day.. its unintentional and I apologise.. I never truly meant it to be this way, I hope you can forgive me..

I didn't mean to try you two on.. but I still know your birthdays, and your parent's favourite songs.. I still know your favourite foods and deepest secrets I swore to never tell..
But I'm stuck on sentimental, the history we never had.. almost accidental, the way you two live inside my head, and I would kill to be a mile away.. to feel the breath you'll take, but fate won't let me.

So I'm sorry to my unknown soulmates, I'm sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really start to fall in love with me.. I can sometimes take the words given, and change my mind each day to see how you truly feel..
Perhaps I overthink too much or perhaps I just simply can't trust or believe the fact that someone would want me around..
I'm sorry I have to leave you two behind, and I'm sorry I'm nothing but a few blotchy words upon paper and skin to you, I'm sorry I never understood the feelings that I felt, I'm sorry I broke your hearts and I failed to see it from the start..

Please don't tell me that we're fine, I got too much on my mind..
Isn't this too plain to see? Maybe because we've lost too much to gain, I've been were dancing in the rain of tears almost every night, the screams and shouts are getting too loud and I don't know what to do anymore..
Tell me what am I to do..?

Their lips are the gun, and their tongues are the bullets.. they could have chosen to save a life, but they took mine away instead..
We gave it our all,
So don't call me a quitter.. please, I tried bu know I'm tired of trying.. I give up.. I'm done..
And I've swear I've tried too many times before but I'm done with all the plastic promises going around..

I tore you all apart and I'm sorry for existing and playing the part as an unknown soulmate too afraid to open up to you two..
I'm sorry you were stuck with me as a soulmate and I'm sorry for leaving you with an empty part in your hearts but I can't take it anymore..

I'm so sorry..

Don't try to defy or even make an attempt.. My blinders are off as you've told me before only who I could assume was Roman who said of such words.. and I am runnin' again from my troubles..
Am I ok..?
I know I'll be ok again eventually, but I just can't bare to wait much longer, I'm too tired.. I'm tired of trying and I'm tired of crying.. I'm tired of existing..

Sorry I could be so blind, I didn't mean to leave you two this way..
I run away when things are good and never really understand the way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could, and so it seems I broke your hearts..

My ignorance has struck again and I failed to see it from the start and tore you both open until the end..
Separated by a scream
I

t's just a bitter sweet success with a dash of failure
I'm hanging by a thread.. my intentions cut to shreds, I'm starting to lose my grip, Am I just going crazy..?

I'm sorry.. I'm running out of words to write, I just wanted you two to know..
I'm sorry..
I'm so fucking sorry it had to be this way.. please don't cry or join me in my misery once setting myself free from the sickening and disapproving world..
I'm sorry,
I'm so sorry..

Goodnight..

-Logan Berry, (Your third soulmate..)