❝When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with him❞
-Madeline Miller
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I never thought I would experience this pain again. After my mother, I thought this was it. I thought I would never experience a pain like this before. I was wrong, so wrong. I know that now as I sit on this log, tears streaming down my face, but I don't wipe them away. I barely notice them as I just stare forward. I never thought I could experience such pain, but that's all I can feel.
Why him? Out of everyone at this stupid fucking camp, it had to be him. I feel my hands clench into fists as thoughts swirl around my head. He didn't deserve this. He deserved to survive. But, now he's dead. He's dead.
I stand up and start pacing, my hands rubbing my face. Why? He didn't deserve to die. He was too kind and caring to die. All he wanted was to help his people and now he's fucking dead. I growl and stand in front of tree as these thoughts won't stop swarming my head. He's dead. He's really dead.
I feel my anger and despair bubble up in me, taking a hold of my body. I block out for a few moments and suddenly pain emanating from my fist. I look down and see my knuckles bloody. I shake my hand a few times, trying to shake off the pain. I take a deep breath and wipe my face. I have to collect myself. Crying won't change what happened.
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I stand against the wall as I watch Monty trying to carefully take off Clarke's wristband to try to make something to communicate with the Ark.
"Are you sure you want to be doing this, princess? You might make mommy upset." I say sarcastically and Clarke gives me a harsh glare.
"I am completely sure. I want to make her hurt." She says as she turns back to her wrist. I raise my eyebrows at her.
"Remind me to never get you pissed." I remark. We all get quiet as Monty gets the bracelet off, hope evident in his eyes. He opens the wrist band and observes the inside.
"Yes!" Monty says victoriously as Clarke rubs her wrist. "I did it. It's still operational." Clarke and Monty stand up. Monty gets to work and Clarke walks towards Finn.
"What? Monty needed a working wristband." Clarke says once she makes eye contact with Finn.
"And you needed to punish your mother." He replies causing Clarke to scoff.
"Look, they're running out of air, and we need their help. My mother thinking I'm dead is only temporary." I snort and shake my head. Sure it is.
"Not if I can't patch it through the dropship mainframe." Monty replies before turning his head towards us and seeing the look on our faces. "I can do it. We'll be talking to the Ark by nightfall." He turns back towards his work. Clarke gives a look to Finn and walks out. Finn and I share a look.
