Living with the Millers

Chapter 35 - Decision Time

Chapter 35 - Decision Time

My mouth had gone completely dry. I knew in that moment I had just ruined everything. Ben waited for a moment before spinning on his heels and storming out of the room. "Ben!" I called, practically shoving London out of the way to chase him. In the hallway, I saw Rider try to stop his brother, grabbing his shoulder. Ben tossed him off quickly and continued to storm to the front door.

"Where is he going?" Ryder asked as I ran by. I didn't even bother to try and explain. There was only one person who I cared about and he was getting away. The front door slammed so loudly I swear the house shook, yet no one else in the house heard because of the party going on in the other room. The party meant for Ben. The party that now would be the worst night of everyone's lives thanks to me.

When I reached the door and threw it open, he was already halfway to his truck. "Ben!" I tried again, my voice straining from urgency. He stopped in his steps, back rigid. I froze as well, almost scared to take another step. Even though his back was facing me I could tell the look on his face was dangerous. "Come on Ben, it's me. I am so sorry. Let me explain."

"How could you not tell me the second you found out?" His voice was bitter, dripping with venom. I closed my eyes, willing the tears not to fall. "You should've come straight to me and-"

"I just wanted you to have a good birthday," I squeaked, completely breaking. My chest physically hurt. "I didn't know what to do. You deserve to have the best birthday ever, I just want you to have the world and I knew if I told you-"

"You think I give a damn about my birthday?!" He roared, turning to face me. You could practically see the fire raging in his usually beautiful eyes. "This is my family, Shiloh. My goddamn family. Even if you can't understand that because you never had a real one, family comes first."

My mouth fell open. He had the audacity to say that to me? I knew he was hurting, and I knew he had found out in the worst possible way, but it felt like someone had shot an arrow through my stomach. No words could form in my mouth. It was like I completely forgot how to speak. For the first time in months I was seeing a glimpse of the Benjamin I had met on my first day in the Miller home. The boy who hated me, and I hated him. The man I had come to love had melted away, leaving a bitter, furious shell of a person I didn't recognize. So I stood there, mouth open, gasping for breath, because I didn't know what I could possibly say. Ben must've took that as a sign to continue, because he kept talking.

"I mean Jesus, Shi, how stupid do you have to be? You say you love me but you're willing to keep this big secret for what? For my mom? My dad? Because don't you dare say it was for me, that's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard." I opened my mouth to respond, but he wasn't done. "Is this what you do? First fuck Mason James, now keep this secret? How am I supposed to ever trust you" A flood of anger so hot it made my face burn washed over me. At that point, I'm not even sure why I was surprised at his harsh words. He had proven over and over again that he was willing to say anything to get the last word. But not this time. I wouldn't let him win.

"I tried to do the right thing!" I yelled, so loudly it surprised even me. "It's not as simple as you think! I have this big bomb dropped on my shoulders completely by accident and then all of a sudden I realize I'm going to have to leave behind the boy I love, the only person I have ever loved with every part of my being, to stay with my sisters. I know you won't leave your home, I don't expect you to. I am allowed to hurt too, Ben! I am allowed to have feelings. So sure, if you want to tell me I did the selfish thing, then fine, maybe I did. Maybe all I wanted was for us to have one last good night. Maybe I wanted to find a way to sneak off and have a few last moments together where I could pretend this was my life. Because you are right, I haven't had a 'real' family with a mom and a dad, and this is the closest thing I have had to it. But my sisters, those girls in there, are my real family and I'm sure as hell not leaving them, either. So we're done before we even got started all because your dad wanted to have an affair with his secretary, the most cliche thing ever! You're always so quick to blame me, Ben, you never want to look at it from my point of view. So let's put the shoe on the other foot. You say you love but but you're willing to treat me like shit just so you don't have to reevaluate the way you look at life, with a silver spoon up your ass."