Lost then found • Daryl Dixon

Chapter Thirty One

Getting to the top of the guard tower, I nearly trip over the newly placed mattress on the floor.

That's what Maggie was doing.

Sighing, I walk out onto the balcony, walking around the other side so the people in the courtyard couldn't see me.

My mind was racing a million miles an hour, more than it ever had, her image of her face burning into my brain, the pain around my wrist still throbbing.

She was here, she was actually here. standing right down there in the courtyard. Why?

No, not why, how! How was she here? When she was sentenced they gave her 15 years.

15 years!

But she must have gotten out early on good behavior? Why would they let someone like her ever out and now she was here.

I slide down the wall till I hit the metal floor, my hand wrapping around my wrist rubbing it slowly, my necklace in my free hand gripped tightly.

She was here, did that mean he was to? My chest started to feel more heavy as tears spilled from my eyes. Flashes of him standing above me.

"No, no, no," I practically beg my own mind to stop me from this spiral I was heading into, not again I couldn't do this again.

I bring my head into my hands, trying to slow down my breathing. He wasn't here he couldn't be right? He was never supposed to be allowed a reduced sentence. What he got was what he was to serve, but she was released early could he have been too? No, he can't be, he would have shown his face by now, right? Or he would have been by her side at every moment. No, he wasn't here.

But she was and she wasn't leaving was she?

•••

A few hours passed by as I sat there watching the wind blow through the trees, the sun slowly starting its descent in the sky, the birds flying like nothing's changed in the world, watching silently.

"Hey Bean." Dad's voice broke me out of the gaze, looking up at him slightly confused, he chuckled sitting down beside me.

"I know I haven't called you that in a long time."

"Since I was 13."

"I'm sorry, I should have checked everyone before they got on that bus. She should have never been able to come here."

"It's not your fault dad, don't blame yourself." He sighed, placing his arm around me, pulling me into a hug.

"I'm okay, you know," I tell him, hugging him back. Was I telling him that or me?

"Are you sure?" he asks me. I nod.

"I talked to the others." I went tense slightly. "We all agreed, it's your choice if she stays." I pull away to look at him. "What?"

"What she's done, bean, that was to you, so it's your decision and whatever you decide, we'll agree. If you want her gone, I'll do it myself," he says, a little determined.

"No, dad." I shake my head. "She can stay, it's fine." Kaylee what are you saying?

"But-"

"No, you said it was my choice, right?" He nods his head. "Then that's it, if we kick her out, that's as good as killing her, and we're better than that, right?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'll just keep my distance."

"Okay, if you're sure" But I wasn't sure, was I? How could I be, I barely thought about it for more than a split second. I couldn't be responsible for kicking her out or causing her death, so I'm going to suck it up and put on a brave face and show her I wasn't scared.