Heart of Stone

~chapter 4~

"Mavis.'

My body resists me as I repeatedly try to come to. My eyelids feel ridiculously heavy and my body feels like it's falling erratically again.

What if I was still in the void? What if he tricked me?

'Mavis.'

There it is again. The familiar voice echoes in my mind as it tries desperately to free me from my slumber. For some reason, its mere presence puts my mind at ease and drowns out all sense of insecurity.

I remember this voice. It's the same voice that always comforted me when I felt like a complete burden to society. The same voice that believed in me, even when I couldn't bring myself to. The same voice that beckoned me to come sit down with him in class when he noticed I was about to cry. The same voice that  --

'Mavis!'

My eyes shoot open in consternation. My vision is obscured by the sunlight descending upon my face, though I'm able to make out my surroundings. I've woken up in my bedroom, the same one I've shared with my twin brother since we were tots. My brother stood adjacent to me, staring down at me with his hands on his hips as if I was a dog blocking his way to the front door.

'Hey, what's wrong with you? You never wake up this late. And especially not on the first day of school."

At no point did my brain properly process his dialogue. All I could do was lie prostrate on my bed in amazement. He was actually telling the truth. I get a second chance, after all.

My frail hands gripped the soft fabric of my bedsheets. Never before have they brought me such warmth and relief. I could feel the creases of my palms absorb the happy memories I've spent here with my brother. As my thoughts shift towards him, I can't help but take a good look at my brother's face. 

The last time I saw him, he was absolutely livid - furiously yelling at me to stop being selfish and to use my head. His face was stained with desperation as liquid soundwaves poured profusely from his eyes.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Edmond said with a perplexed look on his face.

His question abruptly snaps me out of my trance as I remember the reason I'm here. I thrust my cover off and push past my brother as I make my way towards my closet.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"7:50"

"Ed, what the hell?! Class starts in 20 minutes! Why didn't you wake me sooner?"

"You always wake up before I do! How was I supposed to realize that you weren't already out of bed?"

I roll my eyes at him in exasperation as I open my closet and begin to sort out what I'm going to wear. I'm immediately taken aback by my wardrobe. I didn't realize how much my choice of clothing was tied to my state of mind. I'm so used to only seeing shades of black and blue that I'm practically disturbed by all the pink and yellow in my closet.

Well, at least having depression improved my sense of fashion.

I viciously grab at anything I can find and rush to the bathroom. As I press to get my outfit on as soon as possible, I can't help but gag at my grotesque attire. I look like the newest addition to the My Little Pony cast.

After getting my hair ready and gargling as much mouthwash as my mouth can handle, I take a brief look in the mirror. It's been so long since I've seen myself look so.....presentable. My eyes weren't completely veiled with mascara. My arms didn't have any bruises on them. And my face was free from the dark, cloudy bags that formed under my eyes from continuous stress and torment.

This is my chance to put an end to everything before it even starts. If this works out, I won't have to say goodbye to all my friends, family, and - most importantly - Everest.

But of course, if it doesn't work - I'll get a taste of what real torture is like. I can practically hear the chilling cackling of that demon echo from the corner of my mind.

I stare at my determined eyes in the mirror. Both me and my azoic reflection agree on one thing.

"I can't afford to fail."