Heart of Stone

~chapter 8~

The second I catch sight of his tired, onyx hair, I can't maintain the facade. Before Edmond can stop me, I rush out of the hallway to the school exit. Never before had my 'fight or flight' instincts acted like this. The instant I saw him, my legs had a mind of their own.

As I approach the school's front door, I hear Edmond yelling perilously for me.

"MAVIS!" he shouts.

I stop myself just in front of the door. I can hear him breathing heavily from a good meter behind me. He was always faster than me.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself Mave. At some point, you're going to have to grow up," he says.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was done with this kid acting like he knew what I was going through.

"You don't know anything! You know that right?! I had my heart ripped to shreds by the person I cared about most in my life. The worst you've ever had to go through was losing your killstreak in Black Ops! YOU couldn't possibly understand how I feel right now." I say, bursting into tears.

I turn around to look him in the eye, but was paralyzed by what I saw. His eyes had gone completely devoid of feeling. It's as if he's staring at a brick wall rather than his crying sister.

"You're right. I don't know what you're going through. Because when I had depression, I never acted like this."

My eyes widen at his sudden confession. I don't believe him. 

"You're lying. You're just lying to get me to calm down. How would I not know when my own brother is --"

"Because I never let it get the better of me, Mave," he says gravely. The rasp in his voice is terrifying, and more than enough proof that this is a bad memory for him to talk about. However, I can still feel a speck of doubt telling me to deny him.

"What did you possibly have to be depressed about? You've had everything. A loving girlfriend. Soccer awards. Straight A's."

"A dead father," he said grimly.

At that moment, it all comes flooding back to me. I remember Edmond crying his heart out at the news that his father had died of a stroke. Of course, it hurt me, too. But the difference is that he was only my stepdad. I never grew attached to him as Edmond did.

But that was the first and last time I ever saw Edmond cry. How could he go so many years without shedding a single tear? The thought of it is incomprehensible.

I feel my quivering body boil with shame. How could I have been so selfish? Have I always been this selfish? My mind flashes to the many times I've cried in the corner of my bedroom, with Edmond holding me tight from my side. He'd force me to leave the house and enjoy the city in order to prevent me from becoming too attached to my room.

And yet, I never did the same for him.

My eyes swell with tears, which fire down my face like gunshots.

"I didn't know --"

"It's fine, Mave. But if I can do it, so can you. And you don't need my help." he says. He walks up to me and embraces me in his arms. Everything about him is steady. His breath is normal and he isn't shaking half as much as I am. If he's able to be this strong about it, there's no reason I can't be.

He backs away and begins to make his way up the school stairs. Before leaving my sight, he turns to me and waves a peace sign.

"I'll tell Mom you'll be a bit late," he says confidently.