Heart of Stone

~chapter 5~

My mom taps impatiently at the steering wheel as she glares furiously at the red traffic light. My brother and I sit in the back seats, waiting anxiously for the lecture that we are most certainly going to get for being so late to school. Edmond and I smile at each other nervously as we both brace ourselves for our mother's incoming aspersions.

'How could you two be this late? I've told you time and time again to set your alarms for 6 o'clock. And yet, time and time again, you never listen. Honestly, I don't get paid half as much as I should for raising you kids." she affirms. 

The sound of my mother's incessant protesting puts me at unusual ease. After I was diagnosed with depression, my mother never once spoke to me like that again. She blamed herself for how I was feeling, even though I would regularly reassure her that it had nothing to do with her.

Although she's visibly pissed off at the two of us, she doesn't have the wrinkles under her eyes that flourished in her desperate attempts to make me feel better. For the first time in a year, we look like a normal family. Of course, this image means nothing if I forget my objective here.

As I gain a grip on my conscience, I can feel my heavy head rest against the window in fatigue. Ever since I've left the house, I've been contemplating over and over again how I would go about changing what happens today. No matter how many times I run the vile scenario in my head, my brain can't formulate a stalwart plan on how to stop it from happening.

It happened on Monday, the first day of school. I was at our local park - the same park where Everest made me promise to be his bride when we graduated. It was the same place where we would go to eat ice cream together. The same place where we would gossip about the teachers we hated. The same place where I would comfort him about his dead mother.

It was a sacred place.

That day, he texted me to meet him there. At the time, I assumed that he needed someone to share his grief with again. And, of course, I was beyond ecstatic to be that someone.

I spent an hour doing my hair, half an hour on my make-up, and 5 minutes praying to the lord that this evening would be special. I remember kissing my mom on the cheek as I whisked through our front door in my pink flannel and yellow A-line skirt.

When I arrived at the park, I could feel my brain go numb and my heart shatter at what I saw before me. Everest was there. Sitting on the same bench he proposed to me on. With another girl. Kissing her. I had no idea who it was. I didn't care. All I could do was stand there and stare at them in utter horror. Without my consent, my mouth erupted in an uncontrollable fit of rage.

"EVEREST." I said loudly.

He pulled away from the girl to look back at me. For the first time ever, his eyes were completely shallow. They showed no signs of regret. No qualms. No apology.

It was like he didn't care.

"What do you think you're doing?!" I exclaimed. He got off of his seat to stand in front of me. I paled in comparison to his broad, tall stature, though I wasn't about to let that derail me.

"Mavis, there's been something I've wanted to tell you," he said. His voice was completely stale, as if he's mentally rehearsed this scene hundreds of times already.

"What, that you've been cheating on me for another girl?!" I shouted.

"I haven't been cheatin--"

"Could've fooled me."

"Shut up."

"How much did you have to pay her to get her to date you, huh?"

"SHUT UP."

"Why should I? Why should I listen to a thing you say? Our entire relationship was a lie, wasn't it? What about our love for each other?" I asked indignantly. He stayed silent. He moved closer to me so that I stood at eye level to his chest. I stared at his eyes with an irate hatred, only to be matched with his indifferent impassivity. I remember his eyes going darker than midnight as he uttered the 4 words that destroyed me.

"I never loved you," he said nonchalantly. I could feel my eyes immediately swell with tears as my brain tried anxiously to process what he just said.

"Wh-what did you --"

"I never loved you, Mavis. I settled for you. My heart had always belonged to Maria. But she was unavailable. Until today."

My heart throbbed unnaturally as I finally gained a firm grasp of the situation. I remember my legs collapsing on the ground as I started violently crying before him on the floor. I heard the girl get up from the bench as they both pitter-pattered away from me together, leaving me a broken husk of my former, loving self.

That was the incident that completely changed my life. I stopped talking to my friends. I stopped going out. Things changed with my family. My perfect grades plummeted.

In short - my life ended there.

As I return back to the present, I feel my stomach bemoan with grief and heartache. My scalp tenses as the memory of our breakup tortures my mind and abuses my heart. My eyes swell with tears as I grip the coarse fabric of my skirt for stability. In my peripheral vision, I can see Edmond staring at me with concerned worry. Before he can say a word, my mom pulls up in front of our school.

"Here we are," she says.

After kissing my mom goodbye, I exit the car door and make my way to the school building. Before entering the building, I feel Edmond gently grasp my hand. I turn to look at him, only to be greeted by his distressed expression. His face eerily mimics the way he looked when he was comforting me through my depression.

If there's one big flaw with Edmond, it's his compassion. No matter how much I try to shut him out, he always forces me to accept his help. That's our dynamic. It's always been that way.

I know very well that Edmond won't stop pestering me until he knows what's wrong. And I know even better that I'm going to need some help if I'm going to stop what happens today.

I take a deep breath and glare at Edmond with intense zeal. As always, he's all ears.

"Come to the bathroom. I have something to tell you." I say sedately.