This chapter is comprised of things I hate, and common mistakes that are in PJO fanfics. These automatically turn away readers, especially people who are trying to look for quality fanfics.
THINGS THAT PUSH READERS AWAY
1. SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES.
None of us are infallible. At least, I'm not. But when I see a gallery of mistakes, I might only finish the chapter, just to be nice. Most people will just leave. You can always have the occasional mistake, but proofread your story. Look for huge mistakes, and easy ones you can fix.
2. MISUSED AND BLAND DIALOGUE
Oh, do I hate these. Which looks better?
glowy sword thing, yellow monster dust, percy picks her up, she punches him and holds riptide 'hi'!, Aqua Marine said {aqua i think your my sisster}, Percy said >whoa<. Aqua said
Or
As the beast prepared to give the final death blow, Aqua shielded her head, waiting to leave the realm of mortals, and into the Underworld. It never happened. Dirty yellow dust covered her, as a glowing bronze sword clattered to the ground. She felt herself being carried, and took a swing at her captor. He dropped her, clutching his bleeding nose, as she scrambled for the sword.
The power of the sea imbued in the blade pulsed through her. Energized, she used a risky move. She used all her control over water, and made a huge blast hit him. It stopped, bending to his control. He waved the majority of it away, only taking some to heal his nose. Too tired to try again, she held the blade awkwardly at the raven haired boy.
"Who are you?" she accused.
He held his hands up in innocence, as the water felt on edge, as if ready to attack. Aqua battled against it with all her willpower, but it didn't stop. A sharp pain filled her head, as she felt what was similar to seasickness. Images of drowning and a capsizing boat filled her head, as she fell to the ground, dropping the sword. The boy rushed to her, seeing if she was alright.
"That was you?" he said incredulously.
She only groaned in response. The boy placed his hand on her forehead, as the seasick feeling subsided. Her head automatically cleared, as a light seabreeze brushed her skin.
"Who are you?" she repeated, reaching for the phone in her pocket. Of course, it sparked, like always. It never worked for her, but it seemed to work for Lena just fine.
"I'm your brother, Percy Jackson."
Excerpt from Aaron's head. A.K.A, I just made this up, feel free to use it for whatever you want. You can do that for most of my examples.
You see? They both told the same scenario, but the first one was bland, and wasn't creative, while the second one bursted with excitement. Accused, incredulously, repeated, there all words to jazz up your dialogue. Nobody wants to read said over and over again. Your dialogue should always have quotation marks. It should look like the second example, not the first.
THINGS THAT DRAWL READERS IN
1.RELIABLE GRAMMAR
This one is pretty obvious and self explanatory. People generally like good grammar, and in most reviews, this gives you some pretty good points.
2. GOOD HOOKS
Readers instantly want to read more when they see a good hook. The Percy Jackson books are infamous for their attention grabbing hooks. Need a little reminder? Here are some of Percy Jackson's greatest hooks.
"Look, I didn't want to be a halfblood."-The Lightning Thief
This immediately draws anyone who doesn't know what a halfblood is, in. And if you do, why wouldn't you want to be one?
"My nightmare started like this."-The Sea of Monsters
Pretty on point. This makes the reader want to see what the nightmare is.
"The Friday before Winter Break, my mom packed me an overnight bag and a few deadly weapons, and took me to a new boarding school."- The Titan's Curse.
Need I say more?
"The last thing I wanted to do on my summer break was blow up another school."-The Battle of the Labyrinth
I mean, you can see your reaction. This is pretty self-explanatory. It makes the readers go "Wait, what? He blew up a school?" I'm immediately hooked, and want to see what typical Percy thing he did now.
"The end of the world started when a pegasus landed on the roof of my car."-The Last Olympian.
Really Blackjack? What do you want now? Wait, IS IT FINALLY TIME TO DEFEAT KRONOS?!! We're in the Endgame now! (Ha, you don't know Beckendorf is about to die, first time reader.)
You see where I'm getting at? Hooks are one of the best ways to get your readers interested, and they always draw me in
3. CLIFFHANGERS
Am I the only one who likes cliffhangers?
Yeah, didn't think so. Cliffhangers can be a good tool in books, if used correctly. Cliffhangers make readers hunger for more. If you have a good cliffhanger, people are going to want a sequel. It's like free publicity if you're writing a series.
Sidenote: This was originally going to be a compilation of the 12 worst things I hated and the most common mistakes in Percy Jackson Fanfics, but I decided that would be too harsh, and I made this instead. Do you think this was the right choice?\
Interesting Fact: Hades is the only Big Three to honor the pact, even though he sired the most (Percy Jackson) demigod children.
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Sincerely, 360_Productions
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