the sentence never left chan's head ever since minho left him with no further explanations. chan hated it. chan hated not knowing what it meant.
chan is currently packing his stuff to go back to his hometown. his heart still feels heavy since he hasn't apologize to changbin and jisung yet. he would blame minho for stopping him but the younger did nothing wrong.
he just needed an explanation.
chan let out a frustrated sigh. nothing seems to go his way these past three weeks.
he wasn't eating well, he wasn't sleeping well, he didn't interact a lot with the boys, he keeps forgetting and misplacing his stuff, and most importantly, he couldn't get minho out of his head.
what's the point of ignoring him if it's not working at all?
chan finished packing up, making sure he got everything in place. he will be taking the bus to the train station and get on a train back to his hometown. glancing at his wristwatch, chan quickly gets in the shower to wash up before starting his journey.
after making sure he looks okay, he grabbed his luggage and essentials and head out. after locking the door, chan walked out from his apartment block and make his way to the bus stop.
once he got on the bus, he couldn't find a seat since the bus is practically crowded. almost all the passengers are college students who are going back for the semester break. chan went over and grabbed onto a handle, his luggage in the other hand.
once he arrived at the train station, he bought a ticket and wait for the train to arrive. several minutes later, he got into a crowded coach. thankfully, there was one empty seat at the end of the coach.
chan sat down and took out his phone. seeing his lock screen make his heart breaks into pieces. he had been using the same lock screen and never changed it, even when they are on bad terms.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
(ignore the time and date, they're not important)
the picture of chan, changbin and jisung together really brought back the memories in chan. the picture was taken when they went on their first studio recording. it was the best day for chan since he finally gets to make a song with the other two.
sadly, chan couldn't be with them like he used to anymore. he broke their friendship, and yet he still hasn't apologized. he would text them, but both their numbers are out of service.
chan also doesn't use social media, so he really had no other way to contact the other two. he doesn't even realize he was crying when he felt a tear dropped onto the back of his hand.
he quickly wiped them off his face and unlocked his phone. he tapped on the spotify app and put his earphones on. before selecting a song, chan hovered his finger over one song.
to die for - sam smith
"oh what do you listen to nowadays?" chan asked the younger out of curiosity. he never really know what type of music he listens to.
"oh, before i met you i always listen to this song called 'to die for' by sam smith. i really relate to that song," minho answered as a small smile appeared on his face. chan nodded and went over to put the song into his playlist.
"oh, but you don't listen to it anymore?" chan asked again because minho said that he listens to it before he met chan. minho just let out a quick chuckle.
"well i think i already found someone to die for," he simply answered.
until now, chan hasn't heard the song yet. back then when minho told him the reason he stopped listening to it made chan confused. chan decided to play the song and listen to its lyrics.
"it is if everyone dies alone" "does that scare you?" "i don't want to be alone"
the first part of the song seems to tell the listeners that the singer doesn't want to be alone, even though everyone will eventually die alone.
i look for you every day, every night i close my eyes from the fear, from the light as i wander down the avenue so confused guess i'll try and force a smile
chan listens intently. from his perspective, he's guessing the singer is looking for someone. maybe someone he used to know.
solo shadow on a sidewalk just want somebody to die for sunshine living on a perfect day whilst my world's crashing down i just want somebody to die for
chan keeps on analyzing to find that the singer is surrounded with happiness, yet he never felt happy because he only wants somebody to die for.
i long for you just a touch of your hand you don't leave my mind lonely days i'm feeling like a fool for dreaming
from this verse, chan can confirm that the singer knows who he's looking for. preferably a past lover.
after going through the song, chan sighed. he wondered why this song relates to minho, and why did he stop listening to it after he met chan.
not even realizing that he's tired, chan slowly let his eyes close and he dozed off, minho still running in his mind.
a few hours had passed and chan woke up when he heard his stop is the next one. he stretched out as he looked around. the coach he's in is almost empty.
rubbing his eyes and make sure his belongings are still there with him, he stood up and wait by the door. several minutes passed and he finally arrived at his stop.
taking a cab back to his family's house, he thanked and paid the driver once they've arrived. taking a good look at his house from outside, he let out a small smile.
i miss home.
chan quickly knocked on the door and not even seconds later, his mom is already by the door giving him the biggest hug.
"channie, i missed you so much," his mom said, which brought joy in chan. "i missed you too, mom," he replied as he hugged her tighter.
chan got inside and both hannah and lucas came running to hug him. the bang family had dinner together and chan finally could smile again.
they decided to call it a night and chan went into his room to unpack. he saw a bookrack that was recently moved into his room. he walked over to it and saw one book that got him interested.
he took out the book but accidentally dropped it when his finger slipped on the cover. when the book fell, something else had fallen out from the book faced up.
chan picked the book up as he identifies the other thing that had fallen. to him, it looked like a photo.
crouching down, chan took a closer look to see a picture of four boys preferably in the age of middle schoolers. then it hits chan, all four boys looked familiar as he identifies one of them as himself.
feeling his hands starting to shake, chan slowly turned the photo to be met with a messy handwriting and what was written there shocked chan that he dropped the photo.
