hoodie | minchan

thirty

yeongsoo 🐯

hey channie, you ready?

minho left the door open, so just come in when you arrive

channie 🐺

i don't know if i'm ready or not...

yeongsoo 🐯

just remember what i said

calm yourself down first

trust me, breathing helps

and then when you're finally at ease, you can get close to him

make sure your breathing is stable and don't overthink

it's gonna be alright

channie 🐺

are you sure?

yeongsoo 🐯

100%

you trust me right?

now go, i wish you all the best

channie 🐺

thank you yeongsoo :(

i love you

yeongsoo 🐯

love you too channie

—[]—

chan looked at himself one last time in the mirror. he decided to wear his favourite hoodie today, the one minho gave him. it hurts to see how precious a gift could be when it is from the one you push away the most. chan hated the fact that he did what he did. he shouldn't have left minho just like that, he is just as precious as the hoodie he bought chan.

putting on his black beanie, chan sadly smiled at his own reflection. his eye bags were visible from afar, his skin is as pale as it can get, his lips are a bit chapped and his nose has a slight tint of red above it. chan admits, he cried last night thinking about his past. he doesn't like how his face shows how clearly he did that. he wished it could be less visible since he hates the attention he will get from it.

sighing, chan walked out of his room and takes his phone off charge. making sure the door is secured and locked, he walks down the flight of stairs of the apartment building. the weather was cloudy, but there was no sign of rain. perfect for a meet up at the rooftop.

the walk to minho's house felt so long when in reality it was less than 10 minutes. chan was too caught up with his thoughts that he almost lost track of time. he kept bumping into people since he can't focus his eyes on the streets. he can feel it. he can feel the anxiety creeping up on him.

then he remembered what yeongsoo said.

glancing at his wristwatch, he decided to take some time to calm himself down. plus, he is already nearby minho's building. spotting a bench near him, he went over and plopped himself down. taking a deep breath in, he let all his tears out in one go. there's a stabbing pain on his chest whenever he tries to breath more but he knows he has to keep going and it will eventually stop.

"hey, if you're having a hard time, try to look up at the sky. the sky is pretty day and night and i can assure that you will feel much more better even by just looking at it. that's what i usually do. it puts my mind at ease."

the voice he missed came into his mind. all this time when chan is feeling troubled, minho would tell him to look up into the sky and admire it as a whole. the younger told him that it was his way of coping with mental breakdowns and it helps him a lot as a whole. without giving a thought, chan lifted his head and stared far off into the sky.

minho was right, the sky looked really pretty. it was just as cloudy as it was before but something about it gives out this form of comfort to chan. it's like the whole sky is absorbing all the worries he previously had and now it is almost non-existent.

as moments pass by, his chest feels much lighter and his breathing started becoming more stable. chan feels like a lump of worry had faded out of his body and his mind started to feel calm again.

he was finally at ease.

chan smiled to himself. he is glad he managed to calm himself down without making a big deal about it and all his gratitude goes to yeongsoo's and minho's advice. looking at his wristwatch once again, he realized it only took approximately 5 minutes for him to put his mind at ease. standing up, he walked over to the supposed building where he will be seeing minho.

reaching upon the doorstep, chan knocked two times before entering it on his own. looking up the flight of stairs to the rooftop, he could feel his stomach twist and turn because of the nervousness. he slowly made his way upstairs and hold the doorknob as he stop. taking a deep breath once again, chan finally opens the door and he was welcomed by the amazing view from the rooftop.

he immediately spotted a figure on the bench he used to sit on when they were having their last hangout before the semester break. the same bench where minho laid his head on chan's lap when the older was questioning his own feelings for the younger. chan remembered that memory so clearly, and he feels terrible for leaving minho in an abrupt manner.

he slowly ambled toward the younger, his heart beating out of his chest. chan was undeniably nervous to face the younger. he is scared that he would end up breaking minho's heart once again. chan wants to fix everything. he wants minho to know that he deeply regrets what he did. if the younger doesn't forgive him, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself either.

as he got closer, he could see minho's appearance. his hair is messy and his face looked gloomier than the dark sky. as chan's eyes traveled to the younger's body, he was appalled. minho was wearing a light mint hoodie that looks similar to the one chan wore when they hang out at the mall together. it finally clicked to chan that this must've been the other matching hoodies they got for each other's birthdays. chan didn't realize he was already crying, but he couldn't take it anymore and decided to speak up.

"m-minho, i missed you too."

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MASS UPDATE FIVE
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