𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 ━ 𝐣𝐣 𝐨𝐛𝐱

part seventeen

jj's pov

"you invited her here?!?" i exclaimed, throwing my hands into the air in an exasperated motion.

"yes," kiara rolled her eyes, "so you better keep it in your pants."

"make one more joke about me liking her and i swear to god i'll-"

"you'll what, jj?" kiara said, standing up to walk over to the counter. i just groaned as i trudged over to her.

"you knew that i wanted to talk about the plan today," i said. i was referring to plan to find john b, that we'd been discussing for some time now. it wasn't going well because pope and ki started to lose hope after the boat was found, and they always went against every idea i had anyway.

"well you still can, because i filled her in," kiara said, grabbing an apple from the counter.

"you what?!?!" i shouted. god she had officially lost her mind.

"you heard me," she said.

"kiara-"

"she was going to find out about it anyways, and besides i left out all important details; she knows nothing about what john b did or anything about the gold for that matter," she exclaimed.

"you are out of your mind," i grumbled.

"no i am not," ki stated. "now i just heard a car pull up which means she's here so be nice."

i shook my head at her before rubbing my temples with my pointer fingers. i listened to the two girls greet each other before they appeared in front of me.

"hi," hannah said. pope greeted her and i gave her a curt nod only because of the death stare i was receiving from kiara. the brunette sat down on the couch with kiara and pope and the three of them began to have a conversation about god knows what.

i stayed in my spot at the counter, not moving even when i heard the three burst out into laughter after hannah had told a story, or even when i heard kiara complain about how i was being antisocial.

what did move me from my seat however, was the mention of john b. it had come out of pope's mouth when he was telling hannah a story about last summer. kiara was adding parts in here and there and all i could focus on was the new girl giggling.

"i'm out of here," i grunted before getting swiftly up off the stool and snatching my hat from the counter.

"jj-" i heard kiara call but i slammed the door behind me before she could say anything else. i was about to get into the van when i heard my name being called again, but a different girl's voice this time.

"jj wait!" hannah called, looking at me with concerned eyes.

"stop hannah," i said as she began to walk towards me.

"i'm sorry if i did something to make you upset i didn't-"

"you know what hannah," i started, "i'm so sick of your bullshit."

"what-"

"your obviously hiding shit from us. you've got kiara, and now pope too, wrapped around your finger. but i'll tell you what princess, it's not gonna work with me," i huffed.

"jj i don't know what you're talking about," she said softly, worry still evident in her features.

"for all we know you could've murdered someone back where you came from!"

"you don't really think that," she said.

"no i don't really think that hannah. but what i do think is that you're annoying as hell, and all you do is try and weasel your way in with me and my friends," i shouted. "and to do what for god's sakes?! are you trying to solve the damn mystery or something."

"jj- i- you-," she stuttered.

"i'm sick and tired of hearing john b's name brought up every god damn time your around! so stop! please just stop," i yelled again.

the girl was just staring at me now, her eyes were glossed over, tears forming.

"i-i'll just go," she said quietly before looking down at the ground and walking towards her car.

"good idea," i huffed as i watched her.

as her car pulled out and onto the street i felt a hand grab my arm and yank me back.

"what the hell is wrong with you?!" kiara screamed.

"bro that was-" pope began. but i ripped myself from kiaras grip and turned away before i could hear any more of what i knew was about to be a lecture.

i hopped into the drivers seat of the van and turned the key. i quickly put the car in reverse and sped out of the spot watching my friend's defeated faces as they put their hands on top of their heads.

i couldn't sit there and listen to another 'feelings talk' or how bad i had just fucked up with hannah. i didn't know where i was going or what i was doing but i drove until it was dark out and the tank in the van was almost empty.

it had to have been the middle of the night when i parked on the side of the road, and slammed my palms against the steering wheel. my breathing was erratic and my mind was running at a mile a minute.

i felt tears begin to slip out of my eyes uncontrollably, it was the first time i had cried since john b had gone missing.

i tried to stop crying.

i really tried to stop. i tried to control my breathing, it wouldn't work.

my heart hurt, my head hurt, i couldn't understand what was happening but before i knew it i was driving again.

it's like everything that had happened in this past year, last summer, everything with my dad...

it had been bottled up for so long and it's like it all just came pouring out at once. except i had lost the cap on the bottle and i couldn't stop it. i couldn't help it and i felt like such a fucking pussy.

and still i was stuck on the cruel words i had said to hannah. i had this pain in my heart just thinking about staring at her as she pulled her car out of my lawn and watching the tear roll down her cheek as she did so.

i guess i let the pain in my chest take control of my brain because soon i was pulling up to an all too familiar mansion and putting the van in park. at this point i was having a full fledged panic attack, it was like i had no control over my body anymore.

my legs took the rest of my body with them as they moved towards the door.

and then i was collapsing in the arms of the frail girl in front of me.

-

authors note:
it hurt my heart to write this chapter :(