𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 ━ 𝐣𝐣 𝐨𝐛𝐱

part thirty eight

quick authors note: i said in the beginning of the story that they had just finished their junior year but i meant senior year!! so they are out of high school, just wanted to quickly point that out.

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hannah's pov

i couldn't sleep much after jj had left; i stayed up most of the night overthinking. i honestly don't think i got any sleep at all.

i was exhausted by the time the sun rose, but i had the whole day ahead of me to bask in the sadness of it all, letting it further sink in until we left for our flight that evening.

my dad had to go to the sheriff's department with john b and sarah to make sure that everything was cleared with their case and all the files he had worked on were transferred over correctly. i wanted so badly to feel happy for the two being finally free and with their friends. however i felt selfish, because all i could think of was myself.

the day had gone by without my conscious knowledge and soon i was being called to come down to eat in the kitchen.

my appetite was ash on the floor as i sat down for dinner with my aunt and my father. it was probably only the third or fourth time that i had seen nadine that summer, and yet that women was telling my dad stories like the two of us had the most incredible bond. that woman surely was a lunatic, kiara was not wrong about that.

the food i tried to shovel into my mouth got stuck, four bites and i was done. the urge to cry came and went as my mind remained glued to the thought of him. neither of the two adults at the table seemed to notice however, and once we were done with the meal we gathered up the few things that were brought on this short trip.

i watched nadine climb into the drivers seat as my dad loaded our two suitcases into the trunk before he slipped into the passenger side. i took one last glance around the house, standing in the entryway, before closing the front door behind me.

it was hard to take a deep breath at that point, the short and shallow ones had to suffice for the time being. i tried to do anything to keep him out of my mind at that moment but it's like i was hearing his voice in my head and it wouldn't go away.

that's when i realized i wasn't just hearing it in my head.

"stay!" i heard the familiar voice scream from behind me.

i whipped around to face the boy, his familiar blue eyes were wild as they looked at me and his hair was sticking out in all sorts of directions.

"stay," the boy heaved out as he ran up to approach me, attempting to catch his breath.

"jj," i whispered. "what are you-"

"live here... with us," he said. "you can go to college here if- if that's what you want or-or get a job and you can live in-"

"jj-" i attempted to cut him off.

"i love you," he said.

i just stared at him wordlessly, trying it process if i has actually heard him right.

before i could open my mouth he put a finger up to my lips to indicate that he wasn't finished. he shook his head as he remained trying to settle his uneven breath and heaving chest.

"i was sitting at the chateau, all day, and all i could think to myself was: how am i supposed to just let you go?" he said to me, his eyes full of passion and determination. "all those times where we would just talk and laugh and do normal things like normal people would do.

"when i felt like i world was fucking falling apart around me, you made me feel as though it wasn't so shitty. when i had forgotten how to live, you were the one that showed me the way.

"when i felt like nothing could make me feel better, somehow you managed to make me smile. god, just your damn face or your voice, or the way you would run your fingers through my hair could make me smile any day.

"i wish i could go back to when we first met so i could do it all over again and not change a damn thing. i was lost in this painful world of reality and you found me."

i felt my lip quiver as i listened to his words and knew that there were tears running down my face but i didn't seem to mind.

"hannah i love you," jj breathed, clearly out of air.

before i could even wait move a muscle, or let any words come out of my mouth, i heard a car dar open behind me.

"honey we're gonna miss our flight," my dad shouted.

my eyes stayed on the boy in front of me, his glued to me as well. i couldn't peel my stare away from him, and i know i had the stupidest expression on my face; one of shock, but also happiness, euphoria you might even call it.

"hannah," the voice demanded behind me again.

"i-i can't," i turned to face the man.

"what?"
"what?" my father and jj's words overlapped each other.

"you- you have to go without me," i said, shaking my head as i walked towards the car. "i can't leave."

"we have to get home. what do you mean you can't lea-"

"dad," i interjected, "this is my home. i- i need to be here."

"hannah that doesn't make any sense," my father pressed.

"it makes more sense then i could ever begin to to explain dad," i said, shaking my head. "please try to understand this. th-this is where i belong."

my father glanced back at the blonde who was standing a distance behind me. i couldn't bring myself to look at him, not just yet.

"are you sure about this?" my dad asked skeptically.

"more sure than i've ever been about anything in my life," i stated.

he abruptly enveloped me in a hug, surprising my sense for a moment before i too, wrapped my arms around him.

"i think there's a lot you need to tell me, and a lot we need to figure out" he said as he let go. "but right now i have to catch this flight."

"i-i'll call you," i mumbled.

"i love you sweetheart," he kissed me on the top of my head before turning around and climbing back into the car. i watched the vehicle pull away as i stood there, motionless, not believing what had just happened within seconds.

"hannah," jj breathlessly said behind me.

i turned on my heel quickly as i took fast strides towards him.

"i love you," i said before crashing my lips into his.

as he kissed me the world fell away. it was slow and soft, meaning more than words ever could. his hand rested below my ear, his thumb caressing my cheek as our breaths mingled.

i ran my fingers down his spin, pulling him closer until there was no space left between us, and i could feel the beating of his heart against my chest.

my brain lit on fire and the warmth spread throughout my entire body. it was like i was addicted; to his touch, to his smell, to his lips against mine. i was addicted so i would always find my way back to him.

when we broke apart for air, i rested my forehead against his own and gathered some much needed oxygen. his smile told me everything, and the corners of my mouth turned up to mimic his, as i sank into his hold.

it was as if i did everything unconsciously within the last five minute, like my body knew what i wanted.. what i needed, before my mind could even tell make a decision. it felt as if there was never a time where i was truly believed i was leaving, because i was always going to inevitably end up here anyway.

we were inevitable, him and i.
the pogue and the kook.

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authors note:
epilogue coming tomorrow🥺🥺 i love you guys and thank you for all of your continuous support